So we’ve got at least two chainsaw staves, claw gloves, three flails (one burning), one fairly ordinary glaive, an abacus megasword, a flamethrower and a knife- and that’s just what the priests already have in their hands.
They’re all nutters, it hardly matters. They’re living and dying for a number on their chest. A line in a spreadsheet. Not even gold or wealth, just the promise of wealth. Far off. In some vault somewhere they might not have even seen. They don’t get paid in gold, just the count of gold. Do you think the count lasts past their death? Do they toil so for an ethereal sense of value that blows away on the winds of time? This is what they’re going to die for. A number. No my friend, they’re nuts. Who would spend their whole lives fighting over a number?
(And who employs nutty accountants? Someone cooking the books, that’s who)
Those who understand the nature of the universe, as filtered through basic Mammonite theology. Consider that all things have a value that can be measured in coin, and work your way up from there. After all, the god they worshiped bought his divinity.
Ah ha! I thought I was seeing things, but then I went back before the face-door thing. Our Cio is indeed getting more purply spikes on her pristine blue mask.
On the plus side for the invaders, by the end the invisible maze will have so much blood and body parts that it will essentially be visible. Still trapped, though, unless the traps run out of steam after chopping up too many beings.
Calculating a foe’s greed to the nearest millimammon, if done with enough strength and speed, will put deadly pressure on their internal organs. What looks like a sword is actually a resonating chamber allowing the effect to be obtained at a distance.
They HAVE to be ninjas. Ninjas adapt common farming tools for fighting, like the nunchaku grain thresher, the pole chain saw, and the bear claw BBQ meat shredder, no??
The Aba-Cleaver: For when you want to join in with your farmer buddies in taking arms with whatever you have available, but you are also an accountant.
Boy howdy Cio wasn’t kidding when she said this bunch is stark-raving crackers, was she?
Knives and spears and knives and sword-abaci and knives and flamethrowers and knives and flails and knives and chainsaws-on-sticks and knives and every last one of them got a different kind of crazy plastered over their face Even #1 over there, since she can call this bunch of lunatics “blessed ones” with, not just a straight face, but an expression of serenity!
“The martyrs will die well” indeed.
Though, I’ve gotta commend the flamethrower guy for his budget-saving measure of using his oxygen tank to both fuel his weapon and meet his medical demand for oxygen.
Hold up, a quick flip through wikipedia says that tank’s either fuel or pressurized propellant. That means that he’s getting high on company supply. Only the worst of punishments for such a heinous crime: Dock his pay!
Judging by the color, I’d guess they’re vacus needles.
It certainly wouldn’t be the first instance mortals gaining immense power from grisly piercings; Jagganoth drove nails forged from iron angel feathers into his flesh, and it made him into the ultimate monstrosity.
Still, it’s strange. I know they’re used to bind otherwise unbound devils and banish angelic souls to the void, but humans and servants? I have no idea. I doubt they’re in much of a mood to talk, but maybe The Perfect Goblin will.
COME ONE, COME ALL, AND LET THY BLADES DRINK DEEPLY. FOR THERE PROMISES TO BE NO END OF SLAUGHTER IN THIS BATTLE BETWEEN MONSTERS AND MADMEN.
LET THIS JOYOUS BRUTALITY HARDEN AND SHARPEN THY SELF, O FUTURE KING OF KINGS, O CHRONICLER OF THE RISE. FOR HOWEVER MAGNIFICENT AND SUBLIME THIS BRAWL MAY BE, IT IS NOTHING. IT IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE HOT AND TERRIBLE GLORY THAT SHALL BE WROUGHT FROM THE BREAKING OF THIS PUTRID CYCLE OF RULERSHIP BY SEVEN STAGNANT GODS.
SO SHED THE BLOOD OF PRIEST AND ACCOUNTANT TILL YE MAKE A RIVER, HAMMER THESE SHARDS OF GLOWING IRON INTO A VICTORY FIT TO BE HUNG FROM A PLACE OF PROMINENCE IN THY HALL. AND DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING STOP, DON’T YOU DARE TURN ASIDE FOR THESE GITS. THERE’S A LAZY, DAFT CUNT OF A DRAGON THAT NEEDS A GOOD KICKIN’. BEAT THE SOVEREIGNTY OUT OF HIM, AND LEARN WHAT IT TAKES TO TRULY DEFEAT ONE OF THE SEVEN.
HAIL TO YE, KILL 6 BILLION DEMONS! ACHIEVE HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE!
(and on that note, because I know how the mind of Abbadon works, the next page is going to be showing us what White Chain and Nyave have been getting up to…)
Now would be extremely inconvenient time for the other alice-uns to finish their rebellion against royalty. You cannot divide your focus when facing such a vast array of clergymen and not expect to come out maimed trust me on this.
Q1: Why is 000005’s chainsaw staff separately labeled 035? Is the staff also somehow a priest of the count, or is that the 035th chainsaw staff.
Q2: 000001 has a key around her neck. Thinking we might need that.
Q3: Looking at a list of world currency symbols, I don’t see most of the characters the priests are wearing. Maybe they’re currency symbols of worlds we’re not familiar with? Neat.
Hmm… Good call. I gotta go with Cat Master. Us cats gotta stick together.
(If someone ahead of me took the Cat Master, then I reckon I’ll go with the trap-finding cat.)
I find it interesting that Cio and Princess seem to be the only ones who are afraid of their new foes. The others actually seem excited for some combat.
Perhaps the fall from power to weakness gives a devil some semblance of humility. Or perhaps they are simply cowards at heart.
Hmm… I noticed that too. Could be maybe the formerly-Ebon devil’s have gained a sense of self-preservation over the eons? Or maybe they know how easy it is to be hurled back into the void? Both?
Gundhram the Reader, Belligerent Knight and Amateur Historian
Maybe every time someone gets through all the previous traps, Mammon adds on a new trap? With infinite space, there’s definitely space for it to happen. Plus, it means that when the previous thief tells new thieves how to get through, there’s always one more trap that they didn’t expect.
Since the Ebon Demon got this far, Mammon decided to add the invisible trapped pit and the guards.
Hmm… don’t worry much about that. Ol’ Grandad Princess was pickin’ them up last page. I expect we’ll see some active redispersal of the munitions shortly.
Hi all, I just got caught up. This comic is sweet, but I kind of have a question. What can a human being attain in terms of power (minus shiny forehead jewels)? Like, can a human learn those crazy super-martial arts? What about The Art (magic-stuff)? If there are restrictions, what are they?
The bird of the bottomless pit, worm of clear skies
Considering that Zoss, the conquering king, took over Heaven by slaying the prime angels, the answer seems to be “no.” In fact, human beings (or human-equivalent, in Mammon’s case) are the current rulers of the universe.
Self mortification is cool and all, but I’m not sure it should be pursued to the point of serious self-mutilation if you’re going to be in the security business. I see one missing an eye, and another entirely blinded: sure, she or he probably has cool blind-fighting skills, but they could have spent the time they used learning to overcome a self-inflicted handicap to learn superior _not_ blind fighting skills.
I guess the Dragon is more interested in his guards having that cool Pinhead aesthetic than their being _efficient_. But then, give how he operates, they’re probably paying _him_ for the privilege of being disfigured freaks, so he can offset with quantity of guards any failure to maximize individual performance.
In other words, intruders, no matter how well you fight, they can eventually crush you with the weight of their bodies if nothing else. You can’t afford being slowed down by this first dribble of a potential flood.
Geez, and I thought audit-season was bad where I used to work. If these guys had been employed by Arthur Anderson, Enron would never have gotten into all that trouble. Or possibly twice as much trouble- I guess it would depend on if they tried to stuff Mammon out of his promised dividends.
Hmm… So, reckon all those low-numbered Priests are the “old timers”. Could be Mammon is hoping to reduce pension plan expenses by sacrificing the priests that are closest to… errm… “retirement age”. Seems a valid cost-saving measure.
Sometimes I wonder if the real point of this comic is just to draw as many flipping awesome character designs as possible, and the great story and worldbuilding and other stuff is just gravy.
Oh goodie. This should be fun.
As long as no cats are harmed.
Cio’s extra horns are gone?
No, they are still there. But there is extra sweat.
Looks like the page was updated after I commented. :p
Pirates in the bay maraud
and plunder wealth and commit fraud
but killing’s going overboard
Seventy-One, Five, Twelve, Twenty-One
The Priests of the Count have many lives undone
Absolute nutters, the lot of them!
Break their arms, break their legs,
Break it all but their brain stem.
They’ll still sing their Pity Zen.
Though covered they are in cents,
One thing they lack sorely: sense.
Good God! It took two years for someone (me) to acknowledge how fantastic this lil’ poem is?
Because it’s fantastic! Exquisite! Impeccable!
So we’ve got at least two chainsaw staves, claw gloves, three flails (one burning), one fairly ordinary glaive, an abacus megasword, a flamethrower and a knife- and that’s just what the priests already have in their hands.
Mammon’s fetish club does not fuck around.
Make that three chainsaw staves. I missed one.
Oh, you’re right.
I mistook 48 for 5; so her chainsaw pike is not a reappearance of 35.
That’s a sword you can count on…
I have nothing else to add to this, I’m just amazed at how much I know want an abacus-sword.
It undercuts the competition!
+1. Best post on the page. You win the internet today 🙂
I wonder how well paid they are.
This One finds that looting the corpses of thieves pays well.
Not nearly as well as drinking the blood of All that Bleeds, I bet.
They’re all nutters, it hardly matters. They’re living and dying for a number on their chest. A line in a spreadsheet. Not even gold or wealth, just the promise of wealth. Far off. In some vault somewhere they might not have even seen. They don’t get paid in gold, just the count of gold. Do you think the count lasts past their death? Do they toil so for an ethereal sense of value that blows away on the winds of time? This is what they’re going to die for. A number. No my friend, they’re nuts. Who would spend their whole lives fighting over a number?
(And who employs nutty accountants? Someone cooking the books, that’s who)
I think they all really want death; all looking for an end to the servitude. Look at the nun with flaming hat and a flamethrower: she’s on oxygen!
That is what happens when you allow yourself to be drawn towards party politics
“Flavors robust platinum and gold touch
Y’all chant now, fast money lets slow it up”
– Traditional Mammonite hymn
𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘊𝘏 𝘏𝘌𝘈𝘝𝘌𝘕
CHAINSAW POLEARM YES!!!
035 is best priest.
Allison (or at least the part of her currently in the driver’s seat) seems just as pumped about the chainsaw pikes as I am.
Burn them and their Mongrel Hides.
What value do they find in having their lives spent like coin? Who would willingly become money?
The operative word being ” willingly”….
“We’re winning! can’t you see! We’re the winningest winners Mammon ever had!”
Some poor souls will fight to the top of any old dominance hierarchy they are unlucky enough to come across.
True value comes from the quest for mastery over the hidden name of god.
Those who understand the nature of the universe, as filtered through basic Mammonite theology. Consider that all things have a value that can be measured in coin, and work your way up from there. After all, the god they worshiped bought his divinity.
Ah ha! I thought I was seeing things, but then I went back before the face-door thing. Our Cio is indeed getting more purply spikes on her pristine blue mask.
A sign of her returning to old habits no doubt.
This is turning all 40k up in here
Maybe they should have taken 83 White Chain along with them as well…
Ah, the Abacus Sword, for those gifted enough to calculate tithes as they sow the benevolence of the Grand Dragon.
A B S O L U T E N U T T E R S
Sounds about right…
L O A D S O F M O N E Y
That’s a lot of birds
Please. It’s not nearly enough birds.
Deadly fight in a trapped, invisible, 3-D maze. Great for the viewers, not so much for the participants.
On the plus side for the invaders, by the end the invisible maze will have so much blood and body parts that it will essentially be visible. Still trapped, though, unless the traps run out of steam after chopping up too many beings.
A sword made out of an abacus?? That must be good wood, to not break when that thing gets swung.
Calculating a foe’s greed to the nearest millimammon, if done with enough strength and speed, will put deadly pressure on their internal organs. What looks like a sword is actually a resonating chamber allowing the effect to be obtained at a distance.
Whats the conversion rate for Millimammons to gigajagganoths? also give maybe into Torr, as are these not units of pressure?
Who says the abacus part is made of wood?
Boken ….
” sword made out of an abacus?? That must be good wood, to not break ”
It’s reliable – You can count on it.
CHAINPIIIIIKE
That moment when the heist goes loud and you realise you brought your stealth gear…
They HAVE to be ninjas. Ninjas adapt common farming tools for fighting, like the nunchaku grain thresher, the pole chain saw, and the bear claw BBQ meat shredder, no??
And the dreaded aba-cleaver
The Aba-Cleaver: For when you want to join in with your farmer buddies in taking arms with whatever you have available, but you are also an accountant.
Those who inflict pain upon themselves are well immunized against the effects of inflicting it upon others.
Where is the meaning of “love your neighbor as yourself” when you hate and want to kill yourself? – Zealotry 101
Boy howdy Cio wasn’t kidding when she said this bunch is stark-raving crackers, was she?
Knives and spears and knives and sword-abaci and knives and flamethrowers and knives and flails and knives and chainsaws-on-sticks and knives and every last one of them got a different kind of crazy plastered over their face Even #1 over there, since she can call this bunch of lunatics “blessed ones” with, not just a straight face, but an expression of serenity!
“The martyrs will die well” indeed.
Though, I’ve gotta commend the flamethrower guy for his budget-saving measure of using his oxygen tank to both fuel his weapon and meet his medical demand for oxygen.
Hold up, a quick flip through wikipedia says that tank’s either fuel or pressurized propellant. That means that he’s getting high on company supply. Only the worst of punishments for such a heinous crime: Dock his pay!
It seemed a bit too easy….
Also, I appreciate the chain nagitana.
WHAT IS WITH PEOPLE WHOSE BODIES ARE FULL OF BLUE NEEDLES???
The red in ’em has gone out of fashion.
Judging by the color, I’d guess they’re vacus needles.
It certainly wouldn’t be the first instance mortals gaining immense power from grisly piercings; Jagganoth drove nails forged from iron angel feathers into his flesh, and it made him into the ultimate monstrosity.
Still, it’s strange. I know they’re used to bind otherwise unbound devils and banish angelic souls to the void, but humans and servants? I have no idea. I doubt they’re in much of a mood to talk, but maybe The Perfect Goblin will.
I can’t get enough of your character design.
Didn’t know devils could sweat through a mask!
Obligatory Soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5mUUoAMpYs
ahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYYYEEEEESSSSSS
COME ONE, COME ALL, AND LET THY BLADES DRINK DEEPLY. FOR THERE PROMISES TO BE NO END OF SLAUGHTER IN THIS BATTLE BETWEEN MONSTERS AND MADMEN.
LET THIS JOYOUS BRUTALITY HARDEN AND SHARPEN THY SELF, O FUTURE KING OF KINGS, O CHRONICLER OF THE RISE. FOR HOWEVER MAGNIFICENT AND SUBLIME THIS BRAWL MAY BE, IT IS NOTHING. IT IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE HOT AND TERRIBLE GLORY THAT SHALL BE WROUGHT FROM THE BREAKING OF THIS PUTRID CYCLE OF RULERSHIP BY SEVEN STAGNANT GODS.
SO SHED THE BLOOD OF PRIEST AND ACCOUNTANT TILL YE MAKE A RIVER, HAMMER THESE SHARDS OF GLOWING IRON INTO A VICTORY FIT TO BE HUNG FROM A PLACE OF PROMINENCE IN THY HALL. AND DON’T YOU DARE FUCKING STOP, DON’T YOU DARE TURN ASIDE FOR THESE GITS. THERE’S A LAZY, DAFT CUNT OF A DRAGON THAT NEEDS A GOOD KICKIN’. BEAT THE SOVEREIGNTY OUT OF HIM, AND LEARN WHAT IT TAKES TO TRULY DEFEAT ONE OF THE SEVEN.
HAIL TO YE, KILL 6 BILLION DEMONS! ACHIEVE HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE!
(and on that note, because I know how the mind of Abbadon works, the next page is going to be showing us what White Chain and Nyave have been getting up to…)
Now would be extremely inconvenient time for the other alice-uns to finish their rebellion against royalty. You cannot divide your focus when facing such a vast array of clergymen and not expect to come out maimed trust me on this.
Abacucleaver
neat
That halo is like the ears of Mickey Mouse. No matter what angle you view it from, it’s always a perfect circle.
It’s a Renaissance model.
[purification in progress]
WHERE IS THE CAT THO
Somewhere safe, I assume.
Cat Master does love his feline friends, after all.
Oh my! This won’t be pretty.
Epic battle ensues
We got some bleach shit all up ins.
Q1: Why is 000005’s chainsaw staff separately labeled 035? Is the staff also somehow a priest of the count, or is that the 035th chainsaw staff.
Q2: 000001 has a key around her neck. Thinking we might need that.
Q3: Looking at a list of world currency symbols, I don’t see most of the characters the priests are wearing. Maybe they’re currency symbols of worlds we’re not familiar with? Neat.
Ah, good to see Mammon spared no expense in providing amusements.
Tag yourself, I’m Cio.
Hmm… Good call. I gotta go with Cat Master. Us cats gotta stick together.
(If someone ahead of me took the Cat Master, then I reckon I’ll go with the trap-finding cat.)
First one to hit the floor is a rotten egg!
First one to hit the floor is probably gonna be compost X3
Come to think of it, is Oscars nose usually that long? Hm.
Some masks grow extra horns…
An ironic punishment for misusing The Art perhaps?
I find it interesting that Cio and Princess seem to be the only ones who are afraid of their new foes. The others actually seem excited for some combat.
Perhaps the fall from power to weakness gives a devil some semblance of humility. Or perhaps they are simply cowards at heart.
Hmm… I noticed that too. Could be maybe the formerly-Ebon devil’s have gained a sense of self-preservation over the eons? Or maybe they know how easy it is to be hurled back into the void? Both?
It may be that they are the ones who actually know what they’re getting into.
priests with chainsaws and flametrowers, thats new but not surprising
Maybe the melee will be enough to disperse the fireflies
Homie got an abacus-sword.
I wonder if these guys weren’t here last time or if Mammon just trained/promoted a bunch of replacements in the intervening years.
Maybe every time someone gets through all the previous traps, Mammon adds on a new trap? With infinite space, there’s definitely space for it to happen. Plus, it means that when the previous thief tells new thieves how to get through, there’s always one more trap that they didn’t expect.
Since the Ebon Demon got this far, Mammon decided to add the invisible trapped pit and the guards.
Love the abacus sword
Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some GRENADES now, don’tcha think?
Hmm… don’t worry much about that. Ol’ Grandad Princess was pickin’ them up last page. I expect we’ll see some active redispersal of the munitions shortly.
Chainsaw polearms. That is… that’s…… I don’t have words. Just kind of a general excited clapping.
Hi all, I just got caught up. This comic is sweet, but I kind of have a question. What can a human being attain in terms of power (minus shiny forehead jewels)? Like, can a human learn those crazy super-martial arts? What about The Art (magic-stuff)? If there are restrictions, what are they?
Considering that Zoss, the conquering king, took over Heaven by slaying the prime angels, the answer seems to be “no.” In fact, human beings (or human-equivalent, in Mammon’s case) are the current rulers of the universe.
You mean “no there are no restrictions” I take it?
Lo! If we only had an explosive experts that could deal with large crowds!
Woe unto us.
Nah, ol’ Grandad’s got it covered 😉
#5’s expression in panel 4 is hilarious.
Most exasperated WTF ever.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY SPREADSHEETS I’M GOING TO HAVE TO REVISE BECAUSE OF YOU?!?!?”
Make Throne Great Again! -Grand Dragon Mammon
They take their job quite seriously, as you might guess.
Quirky Miniboss squad is go!
Self mortification is cool and all, but I’m not sure it should be pursued to the point of serious self-mutilation if you’re going to be in the security business. I see one missing an eye, and another entirely blinded: sure, she or he probably has cool blind-fighting skills, but they could have spent the time they used learning to overcome a self-inflicted handicap to learn superior _not_ blind fighting skills.
I guess the Dragon is more interested in his guards having that cool Pinhead aesthetic than their being _efficient_. But then, give how he operates, they’re probably paying _him_ for the privilege of being disfigured freaks, so he can offset with quantity of guards any failure to maximize individual performance.
In other words, intruders, no matter how well you fight, they can eventually crush you with the weight of their bodies if nothing else. You can’t afford being slowed down by this first dribble of a potential flood.
One assumes the mutilation is not a part of the path. One also assumes that they are considered freaks and not perhaps beautiful, even sacred.
Geez, and I thought audit-season was bad where I used to work. If these guys had been employed by Arthur Anderson, Enron would never have gotten into all that trouble. Or possibly twice as much trouble- I guess it would depend on if they tried to stuff Mammon out of his promised dividends.
oho! a little shodown of demons and angels. i told Oscar to take me.
Hmm… So, reckon all those low-numbered Priests are the “old timers”. Could be Mammon is hoping to reduce pension plan expenses by sacrificing the priests that are closest to… errm… “retirement age”. Seems a valid cost-saving measure.
So… all these Priests of the Count wear individual numbers? Like the Beagle Boys?
I relish, result in I found exactly what I used to be taking a look for.
You’ve ended my 4 day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have
a great day. Bye
seems they are all
out for the count
Praise be the Abacleaver, keeper of the headsman’s tally and paymaster of the grave!
Intimidation is a key factor against many foes, alas this situation requires either an all out brawl or a cunning dodging
I would just like everyone to take a moment to appreciate the fact that these are all not just bloodthirsty warriors but qualified accountants.
Sometimes I wonder if the real point of this comic is just to draw as many flipping awesome character designs as possible, and the great story and worldbuilding and other stuff is just gravy.
Spears of the church! Make haste!
“Pose as a team, cuz shit just got real.”
It’s been awhile since the last update…..
I sense a massive page with incredible detail coming up.
Chainsaws are THE best!