King of Swords 8-78
Chapter: 8
Though over three hundred tournaments have taken place, Gog-Agog has not hosted all of them. The contest only occurs every thousand Turns (rotations of the multiverse around Throne), which is a little more than three years, chiefly because the resources and expenses involved are enormous, not the least of which is the arena must be reconstructed each time.
On my home planet, the entirety of our fighting arts were based around dismemberment. We only discovered the flaw in this stratagem when a race entirely devoid of limbs rolled over our armies.
Cast the spherical fiends back to whatever pit they rolled out of! The corner pocket, perhaps
Young man, you have the bravery of a hero. And breath as fresh as a summer ham.
The key to victory is the element of surprise…
SURPRISE!
Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope!
I wasn’t expecting that!
Nobody does! 🙂
At this point, dude, we’re all expecting them. I believe Pree Munroe already said something on the linea of “make enough Monty Python references and what you get is indistinguishable from actual humor.”
… ‘cept, ya know. Sorta stale by now.
Like my herring.
With which you must now cut down the mightiest tree in the forest.
Ni.
Actually, “ni” is also an outdated saying – I believe the current fashion is “ekkiekkiekkipitangzoomboing!”
Right. Always struggled with that spelling.
Nobody expected the current head of what USED to be the inquisition getting exposed for writing gay romance novels under a pseudonym.
I am NOT joking, this literally just happened.
Personally I don’t like this strategy. It’s way too likely to kill your opponent and the true honor lies in winning without causing needless deaths. Permanently crippling is okay though.
So parasitism is more honorable than depredation?
In the end, all that matters is harvesting the biomass of your enemy.
So you approve of Gog Agog? Now, that I didn’t see coming, Unfie.
bet it worked wonders on the centipede men of planet 74 though
the only valid use of tumblr nose
the hell does that even mean
The young and artistically illiterate often refer to the act of depicting a character with a ruddy nose as “tumblr nose.”
Basically, If your art style looks like it has any Penny Arcade influences, the worst parts of 4chan hate you slightly more than they already hate everyone.
Wow, not only is that wrong, but if you have to falsely compare everyone to 4chan in order to discredit them, you’re REALLY wrong. Leave the explaining to people who actually know what they’re talking about, and not a biased opinion from someone who clearly likes the style too much to say something without spitting on people with an opposing opinion by grouping them up with “the worst parts of 4chan”
ALSO! Are you going to tell me that the people who make crappy indie games with those 1 pixel wide arms and legs and boxy torsos are great and only the deep dark recesses of the web actually hate them? Or are you only responding like that because YOU do that and you’re acting in your own interest?
… what?
“I build a shoe.
If someone wants to put it on and declare that it fits, that is his own affair”
Bill Mauldin
Imagine getting so worked up at how some artists draw a nose, you pivot into conspiratorial accusations the moment someone says maybe it’s not a big deal.
I… what? It became an extremely common style. That doesn’t make it a crime to draw a ruddy nose, especially where it’s *not* being used as a default facial feature, but this is a legitimately existing phenomenon being referenced. If anyone’s artistically illiterate, it’d be the person who’s unaware of this. And what does Penny Arcade have to do with it, or 4chan? Half the jabs at “tumblr nose” came from tumblr itself; the chans came late to the party. Or are you just hypersensitive to criticism of things you like and fall back on “haters from 4chan” whether it fits or not?
To actually answer your question, it refers to an art fad that came about predominantly among Tumblr-based artists, where a ruddy nose is (over)used on practically every character an artist draws. A lot of people, myself included, think it looks pretty cute, but it came under justifiable criticism because of people’s webcomics and so on ending up looking like their entire casts were either alcoholics or had perpetual colds.
don’t even know why they brought it up, hasn’t been a massive thing in ages. ain’t even the first time recently that i’ve seen it brought up without much context or point. (hell in this instance it bugs the crap outta me bc its only one character. does any character in ANYTHING with a slightly flushed nose have a “tumblr nose?” does santa?)
Is there a resurgence in making fun of tumblr for both justified and unjustified reasons again or something? thought people calmed down with that.
Once upon a time, there was some justifiable criticism that using warm lighting tones on noses, but not the rest of the character (except t&a, but nobody complained about that) was a cliche.
Then parroting that became a meme.
Then the meme mutated to the point it became more cliche than the original problem.
Then it went to places that all cliche memes go to die.
yesss mention it ALL
Pretty sure this question has been brought up before, but do we have any theories on WHY the stadium has to be rebuilt every time? When I thought the circle of power would be more of a large area battle to the death I got it, but I’m not really sure if it’s likely (likely not possible, it’s obviously possible) that whatever happens in that 30 foot ring could really destroy or significantly damage the integrity of the stadium every single time?
I guess rebuilding it could just be a pride thing, IDK. That seems feasible, but I’d like to hear any theories.
It has to be fumigated with acid to get the Gog Agog population down to manageable levels. That stuff is Hard on white stone.
The victor’s fight against Solomon probably does end up destroying parts of the arena. I’d also wager that anything from the quarter-finals onward has contestants strong enough to require rebuilding sections of the arena.
I second this
Plausible, especially after what happened in Hell 71 and the Battle of the Tea Cups.
I think it’s either (or combination) of the following:
1) Pure hubris, much like Olympics I doubt any self respecting god would sink so low as to not surpass the previous event in every way which naturally would mean new bigger badder stadium to be built. Simply embarassing to hold an important event like this in a old and used up place wouldn’t it not.
2) I reckon the stadium gets damaged beyond repair every time. Some of the contestants should have the power level to do pretty significant damage and Solomon certainly will. And while he does appear calm and collected we know what happens when he doesn’t get his way (see the table from meeting of the gods). I believe these small rings are just for the qualifying stages as the chaff is being weeded out. As contestant numbers drop bigger sections of the arena would be dedicated to each fight. I believe with Solomons attitude he would never stoop so low as to kill a contestant so the fight would only end when trough sheer show of force Solomon forces the contestant to submit or the contestant draws blood and in that effort the arena be dammed. Well that is until there is an actual credible opponent which might or might not happen this time around.
Los Angeles is preparing to use the Coliseum at it’s third Olympics (2028). They are the only city in modern times to make a profit on the games, mostly by minimizing their costs by using existing facilities. Of course, Solly D. can easily afford to build a new stadium every three years.
Consider, Pree Ameboid;
Lots of unemployment? Do a Ring.
Lots of new talents itching for a fight? Do a Ring.
Lots of idle, useless real state that should be nationalized and reclassified, pronto? Do a Ring!
Lots of boredom? Deeeefinitely do a Ring. More than affordable, it’s the wise thing to do!
Solomon David destroyed a stone table and the several feet of ground around it with a tap of his pinkie as a show of force. I’m willing to bet that a punch or ki-rata strike higher than one-point would start interfering with the structural integrity of the arena.
There ain’t no rule against throwing fireballs into the audience.
Ever watch any episode of any series of dragonball?
Where in the ring are they hiding the grass for Alison to brood on? Maybe in the brooding beauty devoid of comment section? (down and to the left)
The grass is Gog, too, of course
Its Gog all the way down
The monarch ascendant must not be using her power over reality because I find myself still fully capable of commenting.
“I FELL INTO A BURNIN’ RING OF FIRE…
I WENT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN,
AND THE FLAMES WENT HIGHER…
AND IT BURNS, BURNS, BURNS, THE RING OF FIRE
THE RING OF FIRE…”
– Johnny Cash –
I see you’ve been to that Indian restaurant as well…
If the whole stadium must be rebuilt after every tournament because of collateral damage, the audience must be in for a show to die for.
I have a feeling that during Solomon Davids reign there has been far more than one massacre taking place in a peach garden.
For a second, I thought he was talking about that massacre thay Mottom did in that one peach garden, but then I was like, “Wait. Wrong Black Emperor.”
God speed you.
The fact that I know not whether Gog-Agog is traveling across panel two or if there are several of her present horrifies me.
obviously every gog-agog in every panel is a separate gog-agog. she has to use those devoured participants somehow
I would say they are the same Gog-Agog
The arguments being that 1) all other instances of Gog-Agog has had a unique appearance within the common theme, 2) the Gogs-Agog cannot be seen in the first panel showing the same scene and 3)the officials on the scene seems to react to her movement.
The first point is the most conclusive to me
Hmm. The circle seems like a good way to get everyone who wants to slay salami dave to just kill each other in qualifiers instead. Clever?
THE ANIMALS AND CLOWNS ARE FUNNY AND GOGAGOG IS THE CUTEST GOG A GOG AROUND ALTHOUGH I LOVED GOGA GOG WHEN SHE FOUGHT HERE LAST TIME ESPECIALLY THE ONE WITH GOG AGOG THAT WAS A REAL BEAUTY I WANTED TO GRIND HER DEAD EARTHLY REMAINS INTO REALLY FINE POWDER AND BAKE BREAD FROM IT AND EAT IT. G O G A G O G PUTS ON THE BEST SHOW I SWEAR.
*Honks approvingly*
The moment when you remember that is a mass of worms.
A S E X Y mass of worms.
did someone say bread
I’m trying to decide if the second panel has three images of our friend Gog-Agog to show motion, or if there are really three instances of her doing stuff out there. I’m leaning towards the second because it’s funnier.
BLOOD AND HEARTS! BLOOD AND HEARTS FOR MY LORD JAGGANOTH!
KILL! KILL! KILL FOR THE RED GOD!
oops, pardon me, my last meal is causing a bit of noise, takes a while to digest.
At a young age I was taught to always chew my food, and when the bite was too large to use my table knife. I would impart this wisdom onto you, so that your meals do not cause a ruckus post-consumption.
Forsake your idol of steel and hate.
I am the true god of death!
You can tell on account of how I’m dead.
glob, tournament arcs are so comfy
please dont subvert this in any way
All hail Smug-Agog!
313th, I wonder if he does it every year or if they are staggered every x number of years. I forget if it was mentioned somewhere how often it’s done.
Theres also the rebuilding of the ring which I guess could take roughly a year with enough manpower.
It’s literally explained right after the comic page xD
Gog-Agog?
More like Smug-agug.
“I get to sass you all I want and you can’t do anything about it.”
An interesting note is that this provides a rough date for roughly when the stalemate began. 313 thousand turns, or a bit under a million Earth years.
Solomon David is in pretty good shape for a man old enough to have had a pet Megalodon.
Abbadon’s commentary states that the thousand turns is “just over three years”.
If we multiply 313 Tourneys X 3.2 years = 1001.6 years.
By this reckoning, the Pact of the Seven Part Multiverse was established between the Seven Black Kings roughly 1001 years ago.
This could be, however it is no guarantee that Solomon held the first tournament immediately after the formation of the pact. I believe Solomon started the tournament as a way to find a worthy successor, and I highly doubt he was thinking of this immediately after the end of the war.
In all likelihood, Solomon spent a great deal of time forging his empire of Rayuba out of the ashes of the war, and only after centuries of peace and prosperity (and horrifyingly oppressive dictatorship) did he finally start to *think* about having a successor, let alone act on it.
Ah, I misread each turn being roughly 3 years. Reading comprehension for the win.
i was willing to accept that there were just multiple of the third gog-agog, but it may possibly have just been different stages of action
When the hero Whispers in
an Arena and fights to win
He shows his virtue or his sin.
All those people named Gog-agog, they could practically be twins.
ZOMG TEH GOG-AGOG
Looks like I’m getting an overdose of this particular goddes very soon. Whether it’s good or bad I have a difficulty to say.
Note the use of the word “Devoured” here.
The Beast does not need your permission to feed.
Who said they not willingly eat the worm ? Think ; what if Gog-Agog promised them help in winning tournament ? Demonstrated her\its regeneration powers ? With around 1000 contestants , one winner , that gets to fight Salami Dave , which never been defeated for so many years – the chances of actually winning look so slim , contestants might grasping at straws.
And with Gog_Agog , your pal , you will feel happy even if you no win the silly tournament , so just eat the worm and all your worries will go away ! Yay !
So are the three Gogs in the second panel just a visual effect sort of thing or are there actually three Gogs? Both possibilities seem equally valid.
Since Gog-Agog is a multiplicity of maggots made sentient, there is not reason why she/they cannot build more than one body at once.
It seems her/their overarching consciousness can control multiple Gog-Agogs at once as well as all the individual maggots that are actively mind-controlling people and so on. Frightful!
…good thing Gog-Agog is such a good pal!
It’s time we addressed this maggot business: maggots are a larval stage that eventually undergoes metamorphosis and reappears as an adult. There is no indication that this happens to the Gog hoard. In fact, imagining what the next stage of Her existence might be like is pretty terrifying.
“… beats within the skull. We invoke the Moth at our peril. The forest pulses with beating wings, imagined eyes. We might make it through.”
Let’s just hope three is all the Gog-Agog there is