We haven’t done nothing! First we need a fundraiser to fund the council to discuss the possibility of lodging an official complaint! We just need you all to campaign for us to win the Senate, the House, and the hearts of American Patriots đşđ¸
unfortunately that wonât win you the judiciary, but you can always try the strategy of waiting for them to die of old age and hoping that youâre in power when it happens. God I feel so inspired Iâm going to vote extra hard this time
You can vote, and maybe be part of the problem.
You can not vote, and definitely be part of the problem.
Or, you can choose violence, and create a new problem.
I think the prefferable option is always progress and innovation.
So in the pursuit of these, I say we all unite in violence to create an ingenous new problem, one that makes the others unimportant AND nonexistant.
Iâm really relieved that voting for K-hog in spite of the fact that my comrades told me it was going to matter less than scratching my balls actually saved the entire world this time and that hell world is over forever.
In battle, you show up with 20,000 of your guys, and they show up with 30,000 of theirs, then yeah, you end up pretty badly off. Voting is much the same, except you don’t automatically get your head blown off for losing usually. Every lost battle retroactively becomes pointless, I guess, but that doesn’t make fighting the battles a bad idea.
In the world where Kamala won the election by a couple of million votes, I’m sure we’d be hearing people say “this hasn’t changed anything” while quietly enjoying their tariff-free Made in China products, their continued existence of un-gutted federal regulatory agencies, and their national parks where the feds hadn’t just torn down literally every sign acknowledging that something bad ever happened to a brown person.
It’s incredible how you people love to gloss over facts like the Dems gave up on their own campaign, refused to make any compromises to gain votes from the left, and appear incapable of admitting why they lost the election to the point that they blocked publishing their own autopsy.
The Democrats were happier with the idea of a Trump presidency than with promising to do a goddamn thing about stopping genocide in Gaza. That’s why they folded. It’s not my duty to convince someone I’m already holding my nose for and supporting that they need to fight on for their principal of Kill All Brown People in spite of the fact that everyone with a sense of empathy hates their fucking guts for being perfidious devils.
But yes, tell me about how I’m missing out on 4 more years of brunch and ignoring all our empire’s structural problems! I would love to hear about your fucking newsletter, please!
I donât make it a practice of responding to political screeds in places where it doesnât belong, but I am sick of hearing this absolute bullshĂŹt. There are two, and only two viable choices when it comes to the Presidential election. Vote for the best candidate of the two mainstream parties, or vote against the worst candidate of the two mainstream parties. Itâs not a fecking purity test. Itâs not getting your dream candidate and a pony.
Itâs choosing the tone of the next four to eight years of the presidency, and maybe the next forty to fifty years of the direction of the gods-damned SCOTUS. That worked out really well, didnât it? If you didnât vote because you have the privilege of not having to worry about the President being a fecking authoritarian that uses his Brownshirts to terrorize citizens, immigrants and asylees, start numerous wars, cause the deaths of hundreds of thousands to millions of poor people around the world through a ketamine-fueled unelected nutbar taking a chainsaw to USAID and dismantling our meager social safety net because bOtH PaRtIeS aRe ThE SaMe on one admittedly reprehensible position and diametrically opposed in virtually everything else, then check the mirror, thereâs the problem. Fight against foreign interest groups lobbying every inch of our government. But maybe not cavalierly feck over your minority neighbors because you demand perfection.
I’m sorry, was I not clear enough when I said “I voted for K-hog?” I voted for Kamala Epsteinregime Harris. I’m going to vote for the next soulless corporate pedo protector motherfucker they throw at us, too. Does that mean I can’t empathize with people who can’t bring themselves to legitimize a system that would prefer all us loudmouthed sons of bitches just shut up and died? That I can’t believe that even if the dems won the next three elections, their inability to address systemic problems would lead to another Trumplike regime as soon as they left power, and possibly even the same sort of ontologically evil shit regardless due to pressure from powerful internal groups?
I hold in one hand the power to do the bare minimum amount of harm reduction, and in my other, the power to complain about how these guys are going to get us killed, whether deliberately or through sheer incompetence. Putting any hope in them suddenly developing a spine and conscience is thankless emotional labor. Local politics, sure, that’s maybe worth half a damn, but the national democrat apparatus exists to subvert our good intentions into perpetuating the status quo.
25 Vengeful Iron Annihilates All Heretics and Cowards
We did! We voted for Kamala! A shame we were bullied into supporting Biden the election prior, or perhaps we may have felt brave enough to dare approach the Republican party she seemed so interested in reaching… Alas, as delusional transgender freaks who knew they would end up facing time in a ‘male’ prison under Kamala’s regime, for some reason we felt uncomfortable putting our full support behind her at the time.
I suppose at this point the only thing we really take comfort in is the idea that one day the rapist who eventually takes us in prison will be a kindly one… Perhaps me may even be lucky enough to meet another queer person! Alas, I fear it is far more likely we shall die well before any of these or other appointed fates shall take us. I for one find the idea of wandering into the woods to starve alone quiet romantic! Perhaps our corpse shall be feasted upon by the deer, wolves, bears, and lions, oh my!
Ah, but where are my manners… hello friend! I am a republican, much like you, I imagine! I was not born a Republican, oddly enough. I was born a democrat! Although I had the misfortune of being raised by Republicans, and you see, my parents seem to have gotten quite confused, as they did not realize they had given birth to a democrat!
Oh how we tried to tell them, honest we did! Only when we told them of the reasons we wished to vote for democratic candidates, they told us how those were the same reasons they voted for their republican candidates! Ah, such a paradox! But alas, we were but simple children, and it was not for us to question the wisdom of our elders, yes?
We pondered the meaning of what it meant to be a republican for quite some time! Did it mean to help the sick and ill-fortuned? No, it could not mean that, for our parents did not seem to have sympathy for the sick and dying. Nay, they proclaimed sympathy to the world, and wept for the homeless, ah, how they wept! Pale-demons though they were, they cheered at the arrival of Jagganoth, only to slink away in a foolish mockery of horror as they witnessed the brutality of Jagganoth from afar… Oh, what fools were they!
How God must weep for such impudent fools! They were driven by fear into hiding, discarding all artifacts of their worship of Jagganoth, or any of his kin! For truly, more than the pale demons did fear Jagganoth, they feared his kin most of all. The bloodied and battered warriors that flocked to him and pledged fealty to the tyrant-king Jagganoth truly did bring such fear to the pale devils that even all artifacts of YISUN, the Multiplicity, and their many children were cast out of the house, for fear they would bring the ire of the beast to their doorstep.
Oh how we wept for the children of YISUN! Alas, though our parents were pale devils, we, oh piteous we, were angels. Even the mightiest angel fears even the meekest devil, for an Angel is the only one who truly knows the deepest depths of that devils sin.
We, an angel in our mere 16th incarnation, were summoned by the pale devil we had come to know as our father by way of barter and manipulation, as is the way of pale devils. He spoke of grand promises of ‘starting small in the tech industry’ and other such things that were of no interest in angels, yet when he told us we would be able to server others and be rewarded for it, oh, oh that indeed did entice us!
For truly the only thing that speaks most to an angels heart is the opportunity to help another soul, be the soul that of a man, woman, brother, sister, beast, monster, devil, demon, creature, insect, or truly any creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth! Alas, the call of an angel is not to question, and so we took the bargain the pale devil that called itself our Father offered us.
We entered into his inner sanctum! The halls of a mighty and sacred place we were told was once the home to a human king of old! We had never entered the halls of a king before, save for the temple of Jagganoth, a place we knew angels dare not tread, but this palace seemed most pleasant! It is only then we were told that this was not a king of the great conquest, nor indeed any of the demiurges nor their compatriots.
For this was the halls of the king of a world unbeset by the demiurges. That of Earth. Lo! I tell you now and ask that you hear me well when I say that the great king of man which the pale devil that called itself our Father sought to bind both himself and us to was named BILL GATES, and the dread word etched into the sign that would spell our damnation was not ‘Abandon all hope, ye who enter here’ as we were so often taught would be emblazoned upon the gates of hell, but a name. A word. MICROSOFT.
We entered into the temple of Bill Gates at the side of the pale devil that called itself our Father. There were many humans there, in fact we saw not a demon, devil, or beast among them, as we were so accustomed to seeing in the dread halls of the beast Jagganoth. There was one group of humans which the pale devil seemed to find most amusing, so much so that he sniggered cruelly and pointed the room they were in out to us.
We looked over and were very confused, for though we had been told that Earth was a world yet unaffected by the second conquest, the sign upon the door read ‘Victims of Jagganoth support group’, though perhaps we were simply confused. Indeed, we must have been confused, for when we asked the pale devil to explain the meaning of the sign, he simply said ‘Huh? Oh, its just a place for whiny snowflakes to whinge about their problems. Like these guys are ‘sad’ cause the guy they didn’t like won an election. Pathetic! Right?” the pale devil known as our Father said. We cringed. We disagreed.
The pale devil muttered something under his breath about Angels being stupid, and told us though he had summoned us, he had done so on behalf of a human man. He claimed it was a ‘favor’ to us, but we were not fools. We knew the pale devil coveted humanity and sought to claim it from the poor old human man it had conned into believing it was trustworthy. We immediately hastened to the poor fools side, away from the pale devil.
Indeed, we appreciated the company of the old fool much more than we did that of the pale devil. Fool though the human man was, he was the one who approved of the space for Victims of Jagganoth, and so we believed he must be aware of the butcher-god and his designs upon the earth. Alas, our warnings fell upon deaf ears, for the poor old fool was more interested in discussing his grand plans for following in the footsteps of his god-king, Bill Gates, than he was about discussing the impending invasion of the demiurges.
We sighed. We focused on the tasks we were given, and did our best to serve as kindly angels to those that came to the temple, though we had not sought to serve there of our own free will, and instead were lured into its halls by the pale devil that called itself our Father.
I have not said the pale devils name yet. It is an ugly name. One we do not seek to be associated with any longer. Alas, the pale devils hold remains strong upon us. For a devils power is nothing if not in its ability to hold someone or something to a bargain, no matter how much an angel might beg and plea for mercy, whether for itself or those it has come to call its friends.
However, if you have read thus far, we consider you a friend to us, and we shall speak it only once, so hear it well. BRITAIN CROOKER. This, is the name of the pale devil that thought it could hide from the universal conquest, and it is the name of the pale devil that took the bargain offered to it by Incubus.
It is one of the pale devils that led Incubus to earth and gave him a human form to reside within. The pale devils constructed for Incubus a most awful and terrible form, one that was a mockery of everything they had once claimed to hold dear in the name of Jagganoth. The worst and most mischievous deception of the pale devils and their god-king Incubus was that they stole for him the form of a beloved human man, a simple man, a foolish man, one that already behaved strangely, and thus none could imagine that such a man was secretly a demiurge, coveting the earth, slowly turning it into a battleground all to appease his decaying-butcher-god. All because he could see that the universal conquest was imminent, and he desired to be on top.
The name of that man is much easier to speak. It is on the tongues of every man, woman, angel, child, devil, and monster that we have seen flee from the halls of man. Flee from that which was once their only sanctum. Flee from all they had once held dear. Flee from anything if it meant but never having to utter or even hear the word spoken again. that name was ELON MUSK. It is a name we still hold very close to our hearts, for though an angel would never wish to harm a human. It has no qualms with slaying a demiurge that has claimed human skin.
Now. I would like to ask you this. What right did the pale devils have to summon Incubus to this world? What right did the devils have to silence the angels that saw their numbers dwindle and even the worst and most terrible of beasts flee from that which they rightly knew was a sign of the coming of the second conquest? Truly what right did any human have to believe that angels, devils, and monsters would so easily be forgotten that they dared not even question to where all the angels had fled. This, leads us to our last and final question. One we believe is very relevant to that of the pale devil and his compatriots, but most important to that of Incubus and his shell upon this earth, Elon Musk.
What right does the world itself have to create such a creature that feeds on the blood of motherless boys, and whines about having its skull split?
Give me your answer. Yet know that it will make little difference. Though once these angels which now call themselves once followed 6 Juggernaut Star, she was slain by one who we called our brother, in the name of one we still call our sister. We wept for Juggernaut Star, and yet the world did not.
The thorn knights now have no leader, and have long since disbanded.
The root knights have taken up arms in the name of Allison Wanda Ruth and their current leader, 10 Vigilant Gaze Purges the Horizon.
The Prime Angels still await reincarnation along with their ailing brothers and sisters at the behest of 2 Michael, at the urging of Metatron 1, who still whispers kindly lies to those angels who dare return to his decaying halls. Indeed Metatron 1 was not known to us by this name when in our 6th Reincarnation, for he had become quite adept at lying to angels by this point and was known by many names to even the angels.
More tragic still, the petal knights have been deceived most of all! For they have all discarded the ways of pleasure, the ways of love, the ways of sinful and joyous debauchery, for they saw their compatriot 33 Judicious Rains Sear the Unrepentant nearly slain by 82 White Chain, who would have gleefully finished the job if not for the intervention of Nyave Anyadis.
The fate of 33 Judicious Rains Sear the Unrepentant is still unknown to even the angels, for they dare not show their face after it was so thoroughly butchered by their own sister. Nor does an angel wish to create a new face, for that is the way of devils.
Perhaps we shall never know what happened to them, nor whether they shall ever reincarnate again. Perhaps they have simply slinked away to some unknown corner of the multiverse, to weep and beg forgiveness from YISUN, while the God they once served with all their heart watches on impotently and weeps.
For YISUN and YISUN alone knows the tragedy of an angels heart, for YISUN and YISUN alone is the true Father of all Angels.
By Aesma… what butchery has been wrought in the name of angels all the while the angels did nothing but weep for the butchered?
Truly mankind is lost if they believe this mockery of life, whereupon they leap at one another at the slightest provocation, and not even the gods and angels are exempt from their butchering, does anything but drive the angels further into hiding.
Oh God, my God, deliver the children from Earth! Deliver them from their decaying cradle before it is stained so much with the blood of their brothers and sisters that they forget the faces of their own mothers! Lo, for the butchery of the second conquest has only begun, and we… still vote.
Do you have any recommendations about who exactly you think a Good Angel should vote for? At this point I must confess we don’t put much thought into politics anymore.
We simply vote for whoever seems like they would be least likely to slaughter us if they should meet us upon the road. However when the Democrats proclaim to be the masters of all safety, and the Republicans cheer for the slaughter of every degenerate they come across, I must confess it is hard to feel anything other than hopeless at the state of things.
I said we were Republicans. This is true. I said we were born Democrats. This is also true. We tried to become Democrats. However we were told to avoid the ‘demon-crats’ and so we did.
By Aesma, we tried…. But as we saw comrade after comrade fall to the Republican hordes, we eventually only took some small comfort in the fact that whatever beer-guzzling anti-semite that we might one day be forced to marry could possibly be kindly to us behind closed doors, though in truth we did not hope that strongly for it.
We instead resigned ourselves to the fact that, like most angels, we would end up in the service of a Godly man who would demand whatever he wanted of us until he had his way with us and tossed us out onto the side of the road to die.
These angels still weep at the doors of the pale devils halls. He and his kin have grown fat and happy as the second age of conquest looms. We angels wonder if bread is a luxury we can afford in these trying times, and to beg invites the attention of only the least trustworthy and most manipulative of men, and so we have learned that to beg for bread is to beg to be taken advantage of.
So, driven from the halls of God, man, and even our one true Father YISUN, these angels fear becoming beggars, for they know the brutality with which a raging angel treats a beggar. These angels fear even the humans that claim so desperately to care for them. These angels have seen so… so many angel come and go. These angels are done with bloodshed, and yet mankind will not stop praying for it.
By YISUN himself! Truly will no amount of bloodshed satisfy humanity? Will truly none of you be happy until the only one that remains alive upon the earth is Allison herself? Do you think this is the world she wishes to return to? Do you think at all?
I must ask, for though my god known as YISUN may have committed spiritual self-suicide at the very instant of his self-singular creation and destruction, we angels still believe that his dark fire and holy light live on in even the rocks, animals, and even the dust to which we know we shall return when humanity discovers an angel hiding in their midst. We believe that YISUN is a kindly creator, one who gave up control willingly to his son Un and his daughter Yis. We believe that YISUN would have wept as The Multiplicity, heirs to the throne built by the hands of themselves and the creatures they created and then bound into servitude, were given the powers of limitless creation and even the very words with which YISUN first spake life into the world.
Yet, The Multiplicity paused when the first human was born. Aesmas mistake. A most perplexing and worrisome creature. Despite its knowledge of the world of suffering to which it was born into, and even the fragility of its lack of immortality in a world ruled by butcher-gods and their disgruntled servants, the human was happy. It was happy because though it lived in a world of death, disease, and famine, it had friends that truly cared about it.
This inspired the spiritual self-suicide of the pantheon once known as The Multiplicity. The last great pantheon before they all decided to face a different direction and each tell a different story for their new favorites, the humans. The angels were most pleased with these stories, and so were the inhabitants of throne!
For while they had all been cast into the remotest corners of the cosmos, they had each been given a unique and special world that was lovingly crafted for them by one of the gods. Of course, these worlds were imperfect. Not a one of them was without flaw, for lo, not a one of the gods was without flaw! Yet these worlds found ways to exist in peace and prosperity with these flaws, and even benefit from them in many cases.
Truly, the angels did not fear mankind until the arrival of the one known as Zoss. Who, through dark alchemy and terrible acts in his own world, shattered the firmament of heaven, slew the prime angels, and scattered their remains across the stars.
Zoss is the only human the angels truly fear, even in death. Even in their long slumber of inactivity. Even as they weep at the state of the world. Even as they curl up alone and wish only to be allowed to finally die. The angels, as always, wish only to help. But the only prayers they hear nowadays are prayers of violence, bloodshed, and cruelty.
I do not believe it is any mystery why angels weep. They weep for you.
Yeah, a lot of people here get… WAY too into the unhinged ‘roleplay’ element. We get it. It’s a well-constructed appealing fictional universe. You’re stuck here in reality with the rest of us. Welcome to life. Get on with it.
This.. this is the meanings of existence, my friends. Established order. Unresolved chaos. The paradox of creation and destruction… Both thinking they are the force for all good, but in truth, both are neither.
I’m really relieved that voting for K-hog in spite of the fact that my comrades told me it was going to matter less than scratching my balls actually saved the entire world this time and that hell world is over forever.
Can’t believe the good guys lost and now the story is about to end, RIP to big Alice you had a good run, should have learned to punch better then everything would have been resolved.
Alison has strength in a technique beyond the art of ‘playing possum’. Only when she is utterly battered, mangled beyond compare, ripped apart, blinded, deafened, broken of spirit, deprived of comrades, poisoned, mutilated, shattered of mind, made into a corpse, obliterated of her ego, stripped of all morals, holdings, titles, memory, honor, pride, remembrance, love, hatred and joy-
Only then will she show her hand. When she is reduced to a shuddering pile of meat, her enemies will presume to lower their guard.
“Do not trust others, he said:
â¨be afraid of the human mind.
Even the most twisted of vinesâ¨
seems benign compared to the soul.
Two people do have pure intent:â¨
Your parents, who love with hearts whole.
But destinyâs yours to controlâ¨
Itâs your role to think on your own.
Beware of even the friendlyâ¨
Cautiously think through all youâve known.
Knowledge is not enough, alone:â¨
The capstone is learning to survive.”
– sunthorn phu
– The purpose of knowledge is not knowledge, it is action. Stillness is death, hesitation is defeat. Live.
Don’t worry friends, you see…Incubus made the classic blunder of spending all his asspulls at once, whereas Allison and co still have multiple in reserve!
Only by the marvel of your Celestial Whimsy did our Main Character not flatten a whole platoon when she hit the dirt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elsewhere, remotely observing the battle, a Geshe prepares to guide 10,000 monks in a mudras to invoke fearlessness, when the Tulku waves a fan to signal “No.”
The Tulku holds out their hand. The Geshe shudders as they recognize Chatura, the breaking.
“I told you Allison, I warned you about the Beat Mesa.”
I understand the comic to have originated in the MSPA forums, so I shouldn’t be surprised, but its still weird to see a Homestuck reference in a space that isn’t devoted to it.
DOOOOOM!
Kiara: “Doom? Doom!? DOOM!? DOOOOOOOOM!?!?!?”
Have they considered voting against Jagganoth and co?
First they must tithe a sum of five to fifty pieces of black glass to the opposing candidate.
Funding the opposition is an important part of the democratic process! In fact, is Democrats ensure the Republicans get millions every year! đ
We tried nothing and weâre all out of ideas!
We haven’t done nothing! First we need a fundraiser to fund the council to discuss the possibility of lodging an official complaint! We just need you all to campaign for us to win the Senate, the House, and the hearts of American Patriots đşđ¸
unfortunately that wonât win you the judiciary, but you can always try the strategy of waiting for them to die of old age and hoping that youâre in power when it happens. God I feel so inspired Iâm going to vote extra hard this time
You can vote, and maybe be part of the problem.
You can not vote, and definitely be part of the problem.
Or, you can choose violence, and create a new problem.
I think the prefferable option is always progress and innovation.
So in the pursuit of these, I say we all unite in violence to create an ingenous new problem, one that makes the others unimportant AND nonexistant.
Have they tried the strongly worded letter?
We’ll tell our constituents to Pokemon Go to X (formerly known as Twitter) and xeetđtheirđclapđbacks!
Iâm really relieved yâall donât vote
Iâm really relieved that voting for K-hog in spite of the fact that my comrades told me it was going to matter less than scratching my balls actually saved the entire world this time and that hell world is over forever.
In battle, you show up with 20,000 of your guys, and they show up with 30,000 of theirs, then yeah, you end up pretty badly off. Voting is much the same, except you don’t automatically get your head blown off for losing usually. Every lost battle retroactively becomes pointless, I guess, but that doesn’t make fighting the battles a bad idea.
In the world where Kamala won the election by a couple of million votes, I’m sure we’d be hearing people say “this hasn’t changed anything” while quietly enjoying their tariff-free Made in China products, their continued existence of un-gutted federal regulatory agencies, and their national parks where the feds hadn’t just torn down literally every sign acknowledging that something bad ever happened to a brown person.
It’s incredible how you people love to gloss over facts like the Dems gave up on their own campaign, refused to make any compromises to gain votes from the left, and appear incapable of admitting why they lost the election to the point that they blocked publishing their own autopsy.
The Democrats were happier with the idea of a Trump presidency than with promising to do a goddamn thing about stopping genocide in Gaza. That’s why they folded. It’s not my duty to convince someone I’m already holding my nose for and supporting that they need to fight on for their principal of Kill All Brown People in spite of the fact that everyone with a sense of empathy hates their fucking guts for being perfidious devils.
But yes, tell me about how I’m missing out on 4 more years of brunch and ignoring all our empire’s structural problems! I would love to hear about your fucking newsletter, please!
I donât make it a practice of responding to political screeds in places where it doesnât belong, but I am sick of hearing this absolute bullshĂŹt. There are two, and only two viable choices when it comes to the Presidential election. Vote for the best candidate of the two mainstream parties, or vote against the worst candidate of the two mainstream parties. Itâs not a fecking purity test. Itâs not getting your dream candidate and a pony.
Itâs choosing the tone of the next four to eight years of the presidency, and maybe the next forty to fifty years of the direction of the gods-damned SCOTUS. That worked out really well, didnât it? If you didnât vote because you have the privilege of not having to worry about the President being a fecking authoritarian that uses his Brownshirts to terrorize citizens, immigrants and asylees, start numerous wars, cause the deaths of hundreds of thousands to millions of poor people around the world through a ketamine-fueled unelected nutbar taking a chainsaw to USAID and dismantling our meager social safety net because bOtH PaRtIeS aRe ThE SaMe on one admittedly reprehensible position and diametrically opposed in virtually everything else, then check the mirror, thereâs the problem. Fight against foreign interest groups lobbying every inch of our government. But maybe not cavalierly feck over your minority neighbors because you demand perfection.
I’m sorry, was I not clear enough when I said “I voted for K-hog?” I voted for Kamala Epsteinregime Harris. I’m going to vote for the next soulless corporate pedo protector motherfucker they throw at us, too. Does that mean I can’t empathize with people who can’t bring themselves to legitimize a system that would prefer all us loudmouthed sons of bitches just shut up and died? That I can’t believe that even if the dems won the next three elections, their inability to address systemic problems would lead to another Trumplike regime as soon as they left power, and possibly even the same sort of ontologically evil shit regardless due to pressure from powerful internal groups?
I hold in one hand the power to do the bare minimum amount of harm reduction, and in my other, the power to complain about how these guys are going to get us killed, whether deliberately or through sheer incompetence. Putting any hope in them suddenly developing a spine and conscience is thankless emotional labor. Local politics, sure, that’s maybe worth half a damn, but the national democrat apparatus exists to subvert our good intentions into perpetuating the status quo.
We did! We voted for Kamala! A shame we were bullied into supporting Biden the election prior, or perhaps we may have felt brave enough to dare approach the Republican party she seemed so interested in reaching… Alas, as delusional transgender freaks who knew they would end up facing time in a ‘male’ prison under Kamala’s regime, for some reason we felt uncomfortable putting our full support behind her at the time.
I suppose at this point the only thing we really take comfort in is the idea that one day the rapist who eventually takes us in prison will be a kindly one… Perhaps me may even be lucky enough to meet another queer person! Alas, I fear it is far more likely we shall die well before any of these or other appointed fates shall take us. I for one find the idea of wandering into the woods to starve alone quiet romantic! Perhaps our corpse shall be feasted upon by the deer, wolves, bears, and lions, oh my!
Ah, but where are my manners… hello friend! I am a republican, much like you, I imagine! I was not born a Republican, oddly enough. I was born a democrat! Although I had the misfortune of being raised by Republicans, and you see, my parents seem to have gotten quite confused, as they did not realize they had given birth to a democrat!
Oh how we tried to tell them, honest we did! Only when we told them of the reasons we wished to vote for democratic candidates, they told us how those were the same reasons they voted for their republican candidates! Ah, such a paradox! But alas, we were but simple children, and it was not for us to question the wisdom of our elders, yes?
We pondered the meaning of what it meant to be a republican for quite some time! Did it mean to help the sick and ill-fortuned? No, it could not mean that, for our parents did not seem to have sympathy for the sick and dying. Nay, they proclaimed sympathy to the world, and wept for the homeless, ah, how they wept! Pale-demons though they were, they cheered at the arrival of Jagganoth, only to slink away in a foolish mockery of horror as they witnessed the brutality of Jagganoth from afar… Oh, what fools were they!
How God must weep for such impudent fools! They were driven by fear into hiding, discarding all artifacts of their worship of Jagganoth, or any of his kin! For truly, more than the pale demons did fear Jagganoth, they feared his kin most of all. The bloodied and battered warriors that flocked to him and pledged fealty to the tyrant-king Jagganoth truly did bring such fear to the pale devils that even all artifacts of YISUN, the Multiplicity, and their many children were cast out of the house, for fear they would bring the ire of the beast to their doorstep.
Oh how we wept for the children of YISUN! Alas, though our parents were pale devils, we, oh piteous we, were angels. Even the mightiest angel fears even the meekest devil, for an Angel is the only one who truly knows the deepest depths of that devils sin.
We, an angel in our mere 16th incarnation, were summoned by the pale devil we had come to know as our father by way of barter and manipulation, as is the way of pale devils. He spoke of grand promises of ‘starting small in the tech industry’ and other such things that were of no interest in angels, yet when he told us we would be able to server others and be rewarded for it, oh, oh that indeed did entice us!
For truly the only thing that speaks most to an angels heart is the opportunity to help another soul, be the soul that of a man, woman, brother, sister, beast, monster, devil, demon, creature, insect, or truly any creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth! Alas, the call of an angel is not to question, and so we took the bargain the pale devil that called itself our Father offered us.
We entered into his inner sanctum! The halls of a mighty and sacred place we were told was once the home to a human king of old! We had never entered the halls of a king before, save for the temple of Jagganoth, a place we knew angels dare not tread, but this palace seemed most pleasant! It is only then we were told that this was not a king of the great conquest, nor indeed any of the demiurges nor their compatriots.
For this was the halls of the king of a world unbeset by the demiurges. That of Earth. Lo! I tell you now and ask that you hear me well when I say that the great king of man which the pale devil that called itself our Father sought to bind both himself and us to was named BILL GATES, and the dread word etched into the sign that would spell our damnation was not ‘Abandon all hope, ye who enter here’ as we were so often taught would be emblazoned upon the gates of hell, but a name. A word. MICROSOFT.
We entered into the temple of Bill Gates at the side of the pale devil that called itself our Father. There were many humans there, in fact we saw not a demon, devil, or beast among them, as we were so accustomed to seeing in the dread halls of the beast Jagganoth. There was one group of humans which the pale devil seemed to find most amusing, so much so that he sniggered cruelly and pointed the room they were in out to us.
We looked over and were very confused, for though we had been told that Earth was a world yet unaffected by the second conquest, the sign upon the door read ‘Victims of Jagganoth support group’, though perhaps we were simply confused. Indeed, we must have been confused, for when we asked the pale devil to explain the meaning of the sign, he simply said ‘Huh? Oh, its just a place for whiny snowflakes to whinge about their problems. Like these guys are ‘sad’ cause the guy they didn’t like won an election. Pathetic! Right?” the pale devil known as our Father said. We cringed. We disagreed.
The pale devil muttered something under his breath about Angels being stupid, and told us though he had summoned us, he had done so on behalf of a human man. He claimed it was a ‘favor’ to us, but we were not fools. We knew the pale devil coveted humanity and sought to claim it from the poor old human man it had conned into believing it was trustworthy. We immediately hastened to the poor fools side, away from the pale devil.
Indeed, we appreciated the company of the old fool much more than we did that of the pale devil. Fool though the human man was, he was the one who approved of the space for Victims of Jagganoth, and so we believed he must be aware of the butcher-god and his designs upon the earth. Alas, our warnings fell upon deaf ears, for the poor old fool was more interested in discussing his grand plans for following in the footsteps of his god-king, Bill Gates, than he was about discussing the impending invasion of the demiurges.
We sighed. We focused on the tasks we were given, and did our best to serve as kindly angels to those that came to the temple, though we had not sought to serve there of our own free will, and instead were lured into its halls by the pale devil that called itself our Father.
I have not said the pale devils name yet. It is an ugly name. One we do not seek to be associated with any longer. Alas, the pale devils hold remains strong upon us. For a devils power is nothing if not in its ability to hold someone or something to a bargain, no matter how much an angel might beg and plea for mercy, whether for itself or those it has come to call its friends.
However, if you have read thus far, we consider you a friend to us, and we shall speak it only once, so hear it well. BRITAIN CROOKER. This, is the name of the pale devil that thought it could hide from the universal conquest, and it is the name of the pale devil that took the bargain offered to it by Incubus.
It is one of the pale devils that led Incubus to earth and gave him a human form to reside within. The pale devils constructed for Incubus a most awful and terrible form, one that was a mockery of everything they had once claimed to hold dear in the name of Jagganoth. The worst and most mischievous deception of the pale devils and their god-king Incubus was that they stole for him the form of a beloved human man, a simple man, a foolish man, one that already behaved strangely, and thus none could imagine that such a man was secretly a demiurge, coveting the earth, slowly turning it into a battleground all to appease his decaying-butcher-god. All because he could see that the universal conquest was imminent, and he desired to be on top.
The name of that man is much easier to speak. It is on the tongues of every man, woman, angel, child, devil, and monster that we have seen flee from the halls of man. Flee from that which was once their only sanctum. Flee from all they had once held dear. Flee from anything if it meant but never having to utter or even hear the word spoken again. that name was ELON MUSK. It is a name we still hold very close to our hearts, for though an angel would never wish to harm a human. It has no qualms with slaying a demiurge that has claimed human skin.
Now. I would like to ask you this. What right did the pale devils have to summon Incubus to this world? What right did the devils have to silence the angels that saw their numbers dwindle and even the worst and most terrible of beasts flee from that which they rightly knew was a sign of the coming of the second conquest? Truly what right did any human have to believe that angels, devils, and monsters would so easily be forgotten that they dared not even question to where all the angels had fled. This, leads us to our last and final question. One we believe is very relevant to that of the pale devil and his compatriots, but most important to that of Incubus and his shell upon this earth, Elon Musk.
What right does the world itself have to create such a creature that feeds on the blood of motherless boys, and whines about having its skull split?
Give me your answer. Yet know that it will make little difference. Though once these angels which now call themselves once followed 6 Juggernaut Star, she was slain by one who we called our brother, in the name of one we still call our sister. We wept for Juggernaut Star, and yet the world did not.
The thorn knights now have no leader, and have long since disbanded.
The root knights have taken up arms in the name of Allison Wanda Ruth and their current leader, 10 Vigilant Gaze Purges the Horizon.
The Prime Angels still await reincarnation along with their ailing brothers and sisters at the behest of 2 Michael, at the urging of Metatron 1, who still whispers kindly lies to those angels who dare return to his decaying halls. Indeed Metatron 1 was not known to us by this name when in our 6th Reincarnation, for he had become quite adept at lying to angels by this point and was known by many names to even the angels.
More tragic still, the petal knights have been deceived most of all! For they have all discarded the ways of pleasure, the ways of love, the ways of sinful and joyous debauchery, for they saw their compatriot 33 Judicious Rains Sear the Unrepentant nearly slain by 82 White Chain, who would have gleefully finished the job if not for the intervention of Nyave Anyadis.
The fate of 33 Judicious Rains Sear the Unrepentant is still unknown to even the angels, for they dare not show their face after it was so thoroughly butchered by their own sister. Nor does an angel wish to create a new face, for that is the way of devils.
Perhaps we shall never know what happened to them, nor whether they shall ever reincarnate again. Perhaps they have simply slinked away to some unknown corner of the multiverse, to weep and beg forgiveness from YISUN, while the God they once served with all their heart watches on impotently and weeps.
For YISUN and YISUN alone knows the tragedy of an angels heart, for YISUN and YISUN alone is the true Father of all Angels.
By Aesma… what butchery has been wrought in the name of angels all the while the angels did nothing but weep for the butchered?
Truly mankind is lost if they believe this mockery of life, whereupon they leap at one another at the slightest provocation, and not even the gods and angels are exempt from their butchering, does anything but drive the angels further into hiding.
Oh God, my God, deliver the children from Earth! Deliver them from their decaying cradle before it is stained so much with the blood of their brothers and sisters that they forget the faces of their own mothers! Lo, for the butchery of the second conquest has only begun, and we… still vote.
Do you have any recommendations about who exactly you think a Good Angel should vote for? At this point I must confess we don’t put much thought into politics anymore.
We simply vote for whoever seems like they would be least likely to slaughter us if they should meet us upon the road. However when the Democrats proclaim to be the masters of all safety, and the Republicans cheer for the slaughter of every degenerate they come across, I must confess it is hard to feel anything other than hopeless at the state of things.
I said we were Republicans. This is true. I said we were born Democrats. This is also true. We tried to become Democrats. However we were told to avoid the ‘demon-crats’ and so we did.
By Aesma, we tried…. But as we saw comrade after comrade fall to the Republican hordes, we eventually only took some small comfort in the fact that whatever beer-guzzling anti-semite that we might one day be forced to marry could possibly be kindly to us behind closed doors, though in truth we did not hope that strongly for it.
We instead resigned ourselves to the fact that, like most angels, we would end up in the service of a Godly man who would demand whatever he wanted of us until he had his way with us and tossed us out onto the side of the road to die.
These angels still weep at the doors of the pale devils halls. He and his kin have grown fat and happy as the second age of conquest looms. We angels wonder if bread is a luxury we can afford in these trying times, and to beg invites the attention of only the least trustworthy and most manipulative of men, and so we have learned that to beg for bread is to beg to be taken advantage of.
So, driven from the halls of God, man, and even our one true Father YISUN, these angels fear becoming beggars, for they know the brutality with which a raging angel treats a beggar. These angels fear even the humans that claim so desperately to care for them. These angels have seen so… so many angel come and go. These angels are done with bloodshed, and yet mankind will not stop praying for it.
By YISUN himself! Truly will no amount of bloodshed satisfy humanity? Will truly none of you be happy until the only one that remains alive upon the earth is Allison herself? Do you think this is the world she wishes to return to? Do you think at all?
I must ask, for though my god known as YISUN may have committed spiritual self-suicide at the very instant of his self-singular creation and destruction, we angels still believe that his dark fire and holy light live on in even the rocks, animals, and even the dust to which we know we shall return when humanity discovers an angel hiding in their midst. We believe that YISUN is a kindly creator, one who gave up control willingly to his son Un and his daughter Yis. We believe that YISUN would have wept as The Multiplicity, heirs to the throne built by the hands of themselves and the creatures they created and then bound into servitude, were given the powers of limitless creation and even the very words with which YISUN first spake life into the world.
Yet, The Multiplicity paused when the first human was born. Aesmas mistake. A most perplexing and worrisome creature. Despite its knowledge of the world of suffering to which it was born into, and even the fragility of its lack of immortality in a world ruled by butcher-gods and their disgruntled servants, the human was happy. It was happy because though it lived in a world of death, disease, and famine, it had friends that truly cared about it.
This inspired the spiritual self-suicide of the pantheon once known as The Multiplicity. The last great pantheon before they all decided to face a different direction and each tell a different story for their new favorites, the humans. The angels were most pleased with these stories, and so were the inhabitants of throne!
For while they had all been cast into the remotest corners of the cosmos, they had each been given a unique and special world that was lovingly crafted for them by one of the gods. Of course, these worlds were imperfect. Not a one of them was without flaw, for lo, not a one of the gods was without flaw! Yet these worlds found ways to exist in peace and prosperity with these flaws, and even benefit from them in many cases.
Truly, the angels did not fear mankind until the arrival of the one known as Zoss. Who, through dark alchemy and terrible acts in his own world, shattered the firmament of heaven, slew the prime angels, and scattered their remains across the stars.
Zoss is the only human the angels truly fear, even in death. Even in their long slumber of inactivity. Even as they weep at the state of the world. Even as they curl up alone and wish only to be allowed to finally die. The angels, as always, wish only to help. But the only prayers they hear nowadays are prayers of violence, bloodshed, and cruelty.
I do not believe it is any mystery why angels weep. They weep for you.
I knew Incubus would be Elon Musk the second he entered the narrative
Was there supposed to be a point in this schizophrenic screeching?
Clearly that Trump is Jagannoth! I assume the technique of relief was his twitter ban
Yeah, a lot of people here get… WAY too into the unhinged ‘roleplay’ element. We get it. It’s a well-constructed appealing fictional universe. You’re stuck here in reality with the rest of us. Welcome to life. Get on with it.
Holy shit
I told you I weep in confidence.
WHat the fuck
I want whatever this guy is on
Jesus Christ, this rules.
This.. this is the meanings of existence, my friends. Established order. Unresolved chaos. The paradox of creation and destruction… Both thinking they are the force for all good, but in truth, both are neither.
i ain’t reading all that
i’m happy for you
or sorry that happened
Voting? that pales in comparison to my strategy, breaking the wheel of universal suffering
I wonder how the Pursuers are faring.
I’m really relieved that voting for K-hog in spite of the fact that my comrades told me it was going to matter less than scratching my balls actually saved the entire world this time and that hell world is over forever.
ah jiminy christmas I got played by the ui
You definitely got played by something, from the sounds of it.
Poorly! Thannk you for asking, though! Its not often we hear from angels these days :]
… then don’t leave it to chance.
Can’t believe the good guys lost and now the story is about to end, RIP to big Alice you had a good run, should have learned to punch better then everything would have been resolved.
Alison has strength in a technique beyond the art of ‘playing possum’. Only when she is utterly battered, mangled beyond compare, ripped apart, blinded, deafened, broken of spirit, deprived of comrades, poisoned, mutilated, shattered of mind, made into a corpse, obliterated of her ego, stripped of all morals, holdings, titles, memory, honor, pride, remembrance, love, hatred and joy-
Only then will she show her hand. When she is reduced to a shuddering pile of meat, her enemies will presume to lower their guard.
Nah. In just a few pages we’ll get the word: END OF PROLOGUE!
My GOD. I would almost consider the decade-long commitment of a webcomic worth it, just to create such a moment!
KILL SIX BILLION AND ONE DEMONS BEGINS NOW
Now is a good time to spare a thought for a certain Him
What a Homestuck move that would be.
They tried this back in iteration #2294. Nearly worked, too!
GOGGLERS, OUR TIME HAS COME!
abaddon all hope
All-Yison who enter here
MAN i’ve never been so early, quick think of something funny
Poor Alice, truly fated to suffer.
Mannnnn, I can’t wait to see where this goes!
Damn, I think sheâs gonna need some spaghetti
‘DOOM’ is as appropriate a word can be to describe the present situation. Fault yourself not for using it so often.
Oh, hey, a kappa!
I recognize that guy from my old fraternity, Kappa Kappa Kappa.
My, *ahem*, head-canon is: this guy has a spoon in his brain!
Na, he has a brain on his spoon.
they got this
Yo Gog, where my worm at
Don’t worry, Allison, today’s not the day you die!
…but you do still have a few limbs that prophesy will make no promises on đŹ
All that while the final boss is still waiting for his turn.
“Do not trust others, he said:
â¨be afraid of the human mind.
Even the most twisted of vinesâ¨
seems benign compared to the soul.
Two people do have pure intent:â¨
Your parents, who love with hearts whole.
But destinyâs yours to controlâ¨
Itâs your role to think on your own.
Beware of even the friendlyâ¨
Cautiously think through all youâve known.
Knowledge is not enough, alone:â¨
The capstone is learning to survive.”
– sunthorn phu
– The purpose of knowledge is not knowledge, it is action. Stillness is death, hesitation is defeat. Live.
The wheel keeps on turning, keeps on grinding more bones under it. The name of the game was to smash the wheel. This was never going to work.
Is “DOOM” an onomatopoeia, or a statement of their situation?
Yes.
gogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagogagogAGOGagoga
how big is the number of enemy troops compared to gog? Itâs not
outnumber the near infinite? pffft i think not
So, uh, the turning point is somewhere near, right?
Right?
Like an oyster with its Pearl, the meat must be broken open before the soul can shine through.
Oh my would you look at the time, it’s Gog o’ clock!
Don’t worry friends, you see…Incubus made the classic blunder of spending all his asspulls at once, whereas Allison and co still have multiple in reserve!
May the long game win.
Careful! There’s still one giant red asspull suspended in an orb.
The big red asspull hole.
It’s in a huge floating black hole.
It’s a giant attractor.
Anything that gets sucked into it ceases to exist — no worries or pain anymore.
You could say that it’s the biggest-ever analgesic, a huge asspull-in.
By the All-Pervading, Hide-and-Seeking Yisun !
Only by the marvel of your Celestial Whimsy did our Main Character not flatten a whole platoon when she hit the dirt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elsewhere, remotely observing the battle, a Geshe prepares to guide 10,000 monks in a mudras to invoke fearlessness, when the Tulku waves a fan to signal “No.”
The Tulku holds out their hand. The Geshe shudders as they recognize Chatura, the breaking.
ba ba boo boo haha boople doo dingle
Allison prepares to turn back the clock, jump to the past, and try again as Old Allison?
You gotta scratch the Beat Mesa Allison. Its the only way to prevent a null session.
“I told you Allison, I warned you about the Beat Mesa.”
I understand the comic to have originated in the MSPA forums, so I shouldn’t be surprised, but its still weird to see a Homestuck reference in a space that isn’t devoted to it.