First dialogue pass
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The dialogue pass for the comic should be up now. There’s a new page (2-23, right after the Throne page), but it isn’t colored yet. I fixed some egregiously bad art and some spelling errors. I’ll make another pass over the comic before I get the final version fixed later this year, but it’s already a lot more readable and should be far clearer just what the hell is actually going on.
I also want to mention while I didn’t get quite around to working on things for the costume contest, the entries were all super good, but I was impressed especially by the ones below (and figured them into my final design quite a bit). You may see some stuff from the contest show up in the comic at some point!
I absolutely love that you’re revisiting dialog, tightening up the plotting, etc. It should make for a much better story (not that v1 wasn’t excellent).
Huh. We should go over and try to spot all the changes. The biggest one I noticed (aside from the new page, which somewhat changes the context of what happens later) is that 82 now says that Allison’s world ‘doubtlessly had a gate’; the line there before made it sound like it probably didn’t.
The term Magus Gate is in general thrown around earlier. 82 tells Allison that they’re going to see a devil named Cio, using her name which before the edit didn’t show up until Cio rescues Allison IIRC. 82 explains that Sweetie Pie and Honey Bunch are devils. When they first meet Preem Nand, 82 also explains exactly that the blue devil liquor is what allows Allison to understand other languages, and eating it later will retain the ability, which I don’t think was in the comic before.
Also, shortly before they’re banished, Preem Nand’s girls explicitly say that lying makes an angel’s body crack.
(Which makes me wonder what the point of the deception was, because clearly Preem Nand would have immediately recognized what the crack meant.)
It is easier to understand now, thank you.
82 also seems like somewhat less of a dick now.
And so, truly, is reborn the King
Unless I’m missing something, on page 2-28 panel 4, 82 doesn’t seem to be responding to anyone.
82 is talking to no-one in particular here. It might read a bit weird though and I may edit it before the final version, thanks!
Thanks for the clarification.
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