On break, and some thoughts
Hey all, thanks very much for reading Kill Six Billion Demons. This upcoming year in 2023 will mark 10 years doing the comic, which is a huge deal! I’m catching up on RPG work and taking my son to visit his grandparents for the holidays, so the next update will likely be January 13th.
Thanks for sticking with me through this year, and the long hiatus at the start and the slow update pace for a while. Your support means so much to me.
Having a child is a pretty huge and life changing event, but it was extra complicated for my family, as my wife suffered major post-partum health issues that put her in hospital, during a high period of covid. I drove my wife to the emergency room at 2:00pm on a Wednesday and then did not see my wife at all for almost five weeks. I could not talk to her normally. While sleeping in two or three hour increments and taking care of my newborn son, I was coping with basic issues such as finding out where my wife actually was, or with the insurance company trying to deny her care after one week of hospitalization. While coping with all this I also went to the emergency room myself as my appendix almost burst and was unable to even pick up my son for a while. I fortunately had family come in to help me or taking care of basic things would have rapidly become impossible. It was an extremely difficult period of my life and it helped underline my very strong belief that nobody can truly do anything alone.
I truly thank you for your support, readership, and understanding, it has supported me through this rough period.
I’m turning 33 very shortly. As my life has continued on I have been very grateful for my habit of actively recognizing when I am truly happy, which is quite often, as I’m a lucky and very creatively and emotionally fulfilled person. It helped me a lot when I needed it.
So here’s a thought for you: some day, you will die in a hospital.
It’s a blunt but fairly inevitable fact of life, something I don’t think Americans talk about enough, to be frank. It will happen to you or someone you know, inevitably. Often there is actually very little you can do about it. One day I was dropping my wife off, the next I didn’t see her face for a month. The older you get, the more likely this is to happen, by the way. Youth will not insulate you forever.
Rather than become flippant or deny basic reality, a habit you can imagine my stance on if you read my comic, I think it’s better just to recognize and accept facts like this. It literally happens to everyone, like the weather, or stubbing your toe. Part of growing older for me has been internalizing hospitals, and death, and their inevitability. I have gotten very good at hospitals. I can sit in waiting rooms for multiple hours now, no problem, on a Friday evening no less.
In the end, my experience passed, as I expected it would, and things have returned to normalcy. My wife is doing better than ever. My son just turned one year old. I made him carrot cake for his birthday. He has a truck that he pushes around and yells at the top of his lungs, happy as all hell. I hope if you find yourself in a similar situation, in a hospital somewhere, you can think of times like this and imagine that things will be better, as they often will, and that that thought can carry you through and on to the carrot cake, truck-pushing side of things. Nothing is permanent.
Have a great new year, see you in the next one.
– Tom Bloom (Abbadon)
Thank you for all your hard work over the years. I’m extremely glad you and your family have persevered and are doing well. May that trend last for a good long while before the next storm. God speed and Happy Holidays.
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Yes. That.
Tom you changed my life with KSBD and made me a better writer, storyteller, dungeon master. Thank you.
You mattered!
Thank you for these reflections and of course for the great comic. Appreciate this personal sharing and seeing you use your real name. Gives us human insight into the maker of an epic that we’ve enjoyed reading for so long. There’s something to that.
Happy holidays Abbadon. May you continue to find peace on the road.
Thank you for making such wonderful art. I hope your holidays are merry for you and your family. My father passed last week. He spent his last days alive at home on palliative care. We made sure that he was not alone for a second in his final days, and at the moment he passed he was surrounded by his immediately family. If you treasure those who treasure you, dying in a hospital, or dying alone are not the only options.
May your death be preceded by life
Salut
I’m really happy to read this.
Thank you for your efforts, you deserve a wonderful life.
Happy birthday to your son!! I wish your wife and you continued health and peace. Thank you for your creative work through the years.
I can scarcely believe that its been a decade since this comic started. Its been with me for so long and has been a pretty regular part of my life through thick and thin. Its constant presence in my life through everything has been great (though all my thoughts on the universe will only exist inside my head).
I hope you have a great holiday, and that life will continue to go well. Though one day the comic will have to end, or be left forever unfinished, it will always be a story I read again and again.
I’m really glad to hear that things have gotten better for you, and I want to take this opportunity to thank you for all your hard work on K6BD. It’s been truly a pleasure and a delight to read this story, and I hope you have a fruitful break. All the best health for you and your family, and I’m looking forward to more K6BD in the new year.
I’m very grateful for being able to see your art and read your stories despite what life put you and your family through. It is a privilege that you didn’t have to give us and yet you did it anyway.
I’m glad things are better for you and hope you’ll get peace for as long as possible, and that future hardships will be few and quick to pass.
Just want to say thanks for the awesome story.
Also as someone who is going to spend the next week in the hospital while a loved one undergoes some testing, your anecdote was a beautiful gut punch.
Enjoy your much deserved break, and glad to hear the family is happy.
Glad to hear you made it through your situation. Thanks for writing/drawing all this for us, and I hope you continue to thrive.
I am endlessly pleased by your success and your happiness. I hope that you enjoy your break, and I look forward to what happens next.
Your experiences resonate with my own past – my oldest is now 24 and youngest is 18, and along the way the family has been through some rough times which had me paraphrasing an old saw as “what does not kill you still tried to kill you”. We persevered and made the best of the hands we were dealt.
I often think about this zen koan which I suspect you’ll find just as valuable…
“Once upon a time, as a man was walking through a forest, he saw a tiger peering out at him from the underbrush. As the man turned to run, he heard the tiger spring after him to give chase.
Barely ahead of the tiger, running for his life, our hero came to the edge of a steep cliff. Clinging onto a strong vine, the man climbed over the cliff edge just as the tiger was about to pounce.
Hanging over the side of the cliff, with the hungry tiger pacing above him, the man looked down and was dismayed to see another tiger, stalking the ravine far below. Just then, a tiny mouse darted out from a crack in the cliff face above him and began to gnaw at the vine.
At that precise moment, the man noticed a patch of wild strawberries growing from a clump of earth near where he dangled. Reaching out, he plucked one. It was plump, and perfectly ripe; warmed by the sunshine.
He popped the strawberry into his mouth. It was perfectly delicious.
The End.”
So glad to hear you are doing so well nowadays. I’ve personally only been reading under a year, but I think there are quite a few things i learned from you. Happy New Year!
I rarely comment on anything anywhere, but this brought me to tears. This year has been rough for my family as well, in a different but heart-wrenching way. We learned the hard way that we all ignore the fact that life can end suddenly, without warning.
Abbadon, I’m glad your family is happy and doing well and I will be forever grateful that you chose to share this story with us all.
Everyone, love and appreciate the people in your life that you care about. Someone can be there and seem like they always will be, then gone from this world two hours later. You don’t want to live with regrets.
<3
I am glad that your misfortunes are turning. I am glad that your son is well, and your wife, and that your life is going more smoothly, and I hope that this trend continues indefinitely. As far as the break goes, I hope you enjoy it as well! Much as I enjoy your work, I enjoy it all the more knowing that you are not letting it stop you from living your life as well! I’ll look forwards to what comes next when it comes, and hope for a pleasant holiday season for you and yours.
That said, I would like to point out that dying in a hospital is not inevitable. Four months ago, my grandfather died at home, in his favorite recliner, with my mother and I by his side. He had been at home the entire time, visiting a hospital only briefly and for routine matters. He looked at me, he looked at my mother, he smiled, and he took off his oxygen mask and told us both, “It’s time for me to go. Goodbye.”
His breathing grew heavier, more labored, and my mother held one of his hands, while I held the other. The breath rattled in his throat, then stopped, and he was gone. At no point in the last two decades had he been hospitalized – he lived his last years at home, cared for by his family, and he died as he lived.
I do think that most Americans have this aversion to discussing or acknowledging death or illness. I’m not sure why – it’s not like any of us get to escape it – but we do not need to die in a hospital or a care home. That’s just how we hide it from ourselves, pretend that it’s something that only can happen there.
I am not overly sad that he is gone. I miss him, I miss talking to him and hearing his stories of the world as it was when he was younger, and I miss his insight on the world, but he had lived a long life, and was ready to go – and went at home, with his oldest child and oldest grandchild standing beside him.
A friend of my family died just yesterday in bed, having gone to take a nap. So far as I knew he felt fine, had enjoyed his day, he had plans to play with his band later. He did not die in a hospital, but in his sleep. I hope his dreams were good ones.
There are many ways to leave this world. Doing so while suffering is only one of them. Thankfully there are ways that even when we go on that last journey, we do not go alone and afraid. We should all be so lucky as your grandfather.
I’ve never been one to comment much on your work, as I’m a rather timid commenter on the interweb in general, but I want to use this opportunity to thank you. Somehow, K6BD and Camus made their way into my life at the same time and I realize now they’ve both changed their trajectory for the better. In quite the similar way too. What a queer coincidence.
I’m incredibly glad your family and yourself are doing fine, and thank you for sharing your story.
Royalty is a continuous truck-pushing motion.
Thank you for everything.
Happy New Year.
It’s been wonderful to follow your comic and play your games even as a latecomer – I hope it’s not coming off too corny to say this but you’ve become a major personal inspiration to me.
December 30th 2021 my house ended up burning down, as did most of my town and another one nearby. Spent most of early 2022 in a haze just trying to get through classes and stay focused, as my family all elected to uproot and move outta state leaving me without much of a support system—to see you creating so much art, sharing your own passion with the world and continue creating even with the hardships you were going through, I can honestly say contributed pretty heavily to me making it through the year in one piece—and also to start creating my own comic.
Here’s to the better times yet to come – onwards and upwards.
Happy New Year.
happiness:
grandfather dies,
then father dies,
then son dies.
Happy new year and enjoy your son while he’s still adorable 😀
*remembers abbadon used to be named Tom Parkinson-Morgan* did you take your wife’s surname? respect. happy 33rd and thank you for 10 years of this wild ride!!
Glad you’re doing better man, looking forward to January for several reasons now: no more red/green everything/terrible music everywhere, AND the next update!
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