Seeker of Thrones 7-79
Chapter: 7
“It is well known that Angels, having tens of thousands of years of contemplation to perfect the martial arts, are unparalleled masters of them. If you are to seek an angel master, be respectful to them. Defer to them on all matters, worldly and otherwise, for they are dogmatic and proud beings. Attend to their requests, clean their monasteries, and humble yourself in your actions and words.
Above all, do not spar with them, unless you want your arms torn from your sockets.”
Zao Xu, Horse Style Master, “49 Empty Palms”
Permission to call this new angel “Leisure-Kick Larry”?
Permission granted. Make it so.
Perfect!
Now to start a line of pervy spin-off games…
27 Laurence Leisurely Kicks Debtors Into Obeisance, Savagely
A TEACUP HAS BEEN BROKEN. SHIT JUST OFFICIALLY GOT REAL.
Thus always to teacups.
Sic Semper Calicem Tea!
[Thank you, Google Translate.]
What did teacups ever do to you?
omae wa mou shindeiru
ATATATATATATATATA!
Tips for watching angel fights:
1: Bring refreshment.
2: Take care to avoid sunburns.
3: Bring a notepad to keep track of all the different styles and moves.
4: Stay outside of direct line of sight. Let’s be honest, you’ll probably still get a pretty good show.
Important safety tip:
Make sure that your refreshment is contained in something OTHER than a teacup.
Always strike a child in anger. For striking a child when calm is unconscionable. –Seeking attribution
I don’t think 59 Seeking Attribution Is The Sign Of The Wise ever said that.
You honor me with your your attention Imaginary one. I will continue my search elsewhere.
Strike a child neither in anger nor in calmness. One with a conscience does neither.
>> Among other angelic martial arts: Demon Flips the Cart, Pattram
>> Sword Hand, Falling Snow, and Head of John.
And always it’s the teacups that suffer.
Foolish emotional angel, such an irony. An empty palm is as nothing to the closed fist.
An *open* palm, however…
An empty palm is in actuality an open fist. One must not be tight fisted with their blows, for the Kings of the Multiversal Struggle should rain their violence upon the Many, not the Few.
“I come to you with only Karate,
my empty hands;
I have no weapons,
but should I be forced,
to defend myself, my principles, or my honor,
then these are my weapons,
Karate, my empty hands.”
–American Kenpo Creed
49 Empty Palms?
Please. FIFTY Empty Palms is much more in vogue today.
The final palm is not spoken with a tongue of flesh.
Oh holy crap, did Abbadon play Age of Wushu?
I was thinking the same thing. You have no idea how much I squee’d when I saw “Leasure Kick Style”
That’s what I am thinking 😉
Hmm… I always found that mortals seeking an immortal master are very likely to be disappointed in the time-scales their training will encompass.
As a practitioner of the Four-Wheels Style, Chrome Bumper Leg Thumper and Tire Track Spine Crack usually work well for me. Although I’ve also been known to use Goddemwittador when the need arises. Heh… it doesn’t hit as hard, but footed-folks don’t usually expect that one 😉
“Dance the Kung-Fu, y’all!” – Carl Douglas
They broke a cup. They SHALL be purged.
My money is on the fight ending with White Chain realising that her opponent is Delicious.
Doubtful. Liminal Blossom at least showed some vestige of morality. This one, not so much.
It is well known that “Head of John” style can only be fully utilized while on a three night bender, broken up only by brief meals of late night curry or kebabs. The true master adopts a thick English, Scottish, or Irish accent.
I fear the greatest conflict known to any world is one not oft’ sung about by the flittering minstrels nor the spurious devil lords.
It is the eternal conflict between angel and teacup, and throughout these recent years its toll in lives is outweighed only by the whims of the demiurge.
I would have it known that, by outward appearances, the teacups are presently winning, though scholars disagree as to why.
Plato must have run a dojo
Kata and drill in strike
knuckles need to meet dirt.
Great, now I want see Demon flips the cart vs Head of John. It better happen.
Head of Ned, on the other hand, involves throwing your own decapitated head at enemies.
While Head of Zed involves beating enemies to death with their own severed head.
Who’s Zed?
Zed’s dead, baby. Zed’s dead.
Head of Yngvild involves beating people to death with a stolen book.
Ah, the Stooge-fu eyepoke technique is unleashed at last. There is only one possible way to counter it. Yet there is a counter to the counter, of course. An infinite progression.
FYI the progression almost always folds back after the third step, because the best counter to the counter to the counter is the original move again (always if it really has only one counter, or almost always anyways because it’d be unusual for the second counter to also passably counter the original move).
♪ There is nothing in my palm, all that will remain of you ♫
Will White Chain be defeated, or will the Law prevail?
Of all the martial arts, angelic or otherwise, I must say the most impressive to me has been the Broken Bough that requires masters to be missing at least half of their limbs.
Though 49 Empty Palms will always have a place in my heart as the only one I ever gave an attempt to learning. Didn’t work out.
It feels as if an age has passed since I last witnessed Angels in combat. How unfortunate that is yet again against another.
Angels tend to only get in fights because they were designed by the gods to not ever lose fights, and everyone else knows this.
Angels only fight each other when God does not sit the Throne and TELL angels how to behave and which Laws to uphold.
“Above all, do not spar with them, unless you want your arms torn from your sockets.”
So Chewbacca is confirmed as being an Angel?
I’m beginning to notice a trend of teacups almost rivalling the BIRDS motif.
BIRDSBIRDSBIRDS
One shall expect birds in cups.
Chuff, boyo, someone-or-another ought to getten Pinky some footware. One of them stone toesies is bound to snap right off, and who knows what one mightenst accomp-o-lish with that big a piece of a lawdog.
Weeelllllll I mightesnt maybe got a buyer. You in, boyos?
The risk-reward paradigm in that particular line of work is, ah, extensive, esteemed Doctor. May the first be to your foes, and the second to your friends.
Alas, poor teacup! I knew it…
A cup of infinite sips; it hath borne my green & black a thousand times! A most excellent china fancy — and now? Quite cupfallen!
Grandma’s going to be furious.
Other angelic martial arts:
Toast Falling Butter Side Down
Five Thousand Frogs
Not Tonight I Have A Headache
Legible Chocolate
Just Hit Them A Lot
Steve
Poke Them Till They Give Up
Didgeridoo Beat-Down
Crane’s Toenail
78 Falling Houseplants
Judon’t
A Thousand Hypersonic Lawn Gnomes
Eye Plucker Dojo
Genital Jousting
Krav My God
X-treme Colonoscopy Grenadier
Mojito Dash Flip
Blood Gurgler
And the dreaded… Toast Falling Butter Side Up
Anyone knows that Hyper Drunken Master style always wins!
As a practitioner of the rather antiquated Sincere Heat Death style, I empathize with White Chain…Or was that the name of the metal band I toured with a kalpa ago?
In one village that I once frequented, angelic spars were so common that special glasses were distributed to allow onlookers to observe the brilliant blows exchanged by them without their eyesight being harmed.
I’m fond of the misnamed style myself.
49 empty palsm may be out of fashion, but it still retains its timeless charm.
However, in my opinion no style came ever close to the beauty of the Death Grips, its disciples screaming at the top of their lungs in often altered states, but make no mistake, ’twas not just for show, as soon as they had their hand on their target, they would tear away limbs or strike clean through their opponents’ bodies, their ever-higher yells somehow always surpassing their victim’s. I once saw an angel, a master in the art, shouted a wonderful song in this manner as he fought demons in the void, he fell 500 of the beasts and nearly destroyed a gate before being overcome and exploding in a final unyielding shriek so powerful and so beautiful no witness regained their hearing to date, yet none of them dare speak ill of that wonderful departure.
Omae wa mou shindeiru
So what happens when practitioners of Head of John, and practitioners of Head of John the Baptist collide?
Lots ‘o guillotining?
(Also, I’m surprised Chrome is NOT telling me “guillotining” is not a word…) (Who added this word to your vocabulary, Chrome?)
Marie Antoinette.
I do not think I will ever get tired of watching angels beat the crap out of each other.
If this was a movie, I’d expect a whole series of spinoffs based on the the angel 36 Stallion Climbs the Rocky Cliff to Witness Dawn fighting an increasingly ridiculous string of opponents 😛
“Horse Style Master”, a kicking specialist, presumably because he no longer has arms.
I know this the nickpick to end all nitpicking, but your chapter selection.
Why in the world do you have it set up that way?
[Pg 1] [Prv Pg] [Prv Ch] [Nxt ch] [nxt pg] [End]
its Long, short, Medium (Then reverse) It just makes no sense.
[pg 1] [prv ch] [prv pg] [nxt pg] [nxt ch] [ end]
would make a lot more, you have Long, medium, short (and the reverse)
Drives me crazy, cuz i’ve literally never clicked it right the first time, cuz everywhere else its set up in that manner xD.
Personally, my favored method of dealing with a fight is avoiding it in the first place.
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Welcome to the concordance Demiurge Learn.
May you reach concordance.
I demand more Petal knight representation, Also Vengeance for my friend 23 Liminal Blossom Punctures the Heart of the Unrepentant, Deliciously….mostly Vengeance
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