I have sold many a pie to this lady, methinks. I could be wrong, but I have a hunch. I apologize for not being definite–one does not look too deeply into the face of one who bears a Magus Gate if one would keep their spine intact.
If it is her, then this Pree Allison most voraciously enjoys a good opiumberry and sabertooth camel kidney pie between workouts.
do I have WHAT KIND OF PIE SELLER DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?
of COURSE I have blue-and-gold yolk pies, madame.
Or I would, if that fat slitfaced bastard Sivnrx didn’t just buy all my uncooked bluegold eggs for the express purpose of hurling them at that harridan Fifth Daughter of a Silk Merchant’s clothing shop.
Good hunting to him, I say, but that’s somewhat irrelevant as you are without a pie to pick yourself up with. I can either give you a rain check certificate or a fresh-smelted sulfuric quiche?
Thank you for the reminder, and I must say that it is good to hear that. My beautiful face, with skin made of marble and eyes of ivory, is not to be sat upon. Now, if you told me I couldn’t bury my face in jewelry, then that would be cause for concern.
is there some greater significance to her using that as her pull-up bar or is this one of those cases where pull-up bars were outlawed due to a combination of merchant guild shenanigans and the work of an obscure yet powerful cult, or is it both
“Do not affix exercise equipment in public places or causeways. Do not engage in activities obstructive to city traffic.” – Throne City Ordinance 1503:
“No metal piping structure shall be used in service of any function but the transportation of flame, fluid, and air, unless explicitly exempted by guild law or contract.” – Pipeworkers Guild By-law 390234:
“A martial artist worth his salt doesn’t settle for mere pull-up bars but only uses the remains of gods and his enemies. A real martial artist, of course, sees no distinction between the two.” – Hal Tho Mannok’s “Hardcore Guide to The Ways of Annilation and Tea”
There are surely more convenient, and less blasphemous, means of exercise, but one of the signs of ROYALTY is bowing before no one, not even the gods. And what better way is there to show one’s dominion over the divine than to get absolutely ripped exercising upon their corpses? That, I think, even Great Meti would approve of.
Foolish Servant. The Successor is heir to all which that goddess created, and more. Were she alive, she would doubtless feel honored to aid the Rising King in her ascension, in whatever small way.
Words of the wise: Yea, throweth not slurs at the crazy mofo performing one armed pullups upon the face of a dead god. For verily, they are a badass, and by their hand may deliver a swift end.
There’s probably like a dozen other places Allison could be doing that. But I suppose defiling the relics of the gods just for the hell of it must be a necessary step in the path to True Royalty…
To climb the skull of YS-Bey is, it is proven, a lethal endeavor.
It was this way with her garden, which nothing of nature could survive.
Only in the unnatural could death grow like a treasured flower.
The chain that the the great skull of the goddess is still wearing is equally great in its density, it seems, for even the full weight of the rising king using it for pull-ups is insufficient to make it tighten!
I have sold many a pie to this lady, methinks. I could be wrong, but I have a hunch. I apologize for not being definite–one does not look too deeply into the face of one who bears a Magus Gate if one would keep their spine intact.
If it is her, then this Pree Allison most voraciously enjoys a good opiumberry and sabertooth camel kidney pie between workouts.
That sounds delish!
Oooh, actually, do you have any blue-and-gold yolk pies? I could use a pick-me-up.
do I have WHAT KIND OF PIE SELLER DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?
of COURSE I have blue-and-gold yolk pies, madame.
Or I would, if that fat slitfaced bastard Sivnrx didn’t just buy all my uncooked bluegold eggs for the express purpose of hurling them at that harridan Fifth Daughter of a Silk Merchant’s clothing shop.
Good hunting to him, I say, but that’s somewhat irrelevant as you are without a pie to pick yourself up with. I can either give you a rain check certificate or a fresh-smelted sulfuric quiche?
Oh my god, Allison, it can’t be that hard to track down a metal pole and fix it to a doorway or something. You absolute mad lad.
*Mad LASS
Then again, Allison is known as the Rising KING, so do pronouns even matter anymore?
The state of Laddishness transcends mundane gender identity.
King is a job description; gender and sex are irrelevant to the royal.
Yeah this is a weird fucking place to do one’s pullups.
She totally does this to annoy the priest(ess).
Definitely.
The weight of Royalty is not to be borne by mere metal poles fixed to doorways.
Hey, if I could do chin ups off a dead goddess’ head I totally would.
Tunnel apes rule!
The snakes that share a space with said apes beg to differ.
WE’RE THE TUNNEL APES
Daily reminder that Alison will never sit on your face.
Why must you hurt us this way?
I don’t appreciate your lies.
why do you do that to me.
How terribly disappointing.
Why bother going on then?
Thank you for the reminder, and I must say that it is good to hear that. My beautiful face, with skin made of marble and eyes of ivory, is not to be sat upon. Now, if you told me I couldn’t bury my face in jewelry, then that would be cause for concern.
You dirty bastard. Why must you remind me.
Eventually, everyone goes into my mouth.
Everyone.
“Tunnel Ape” indeed! Don’t these fools know that “Plains Ape” is more accurate!? Honestly.
*laughs in Aquatic Ape Theory*
I actually believe “Mediterranean Ape” considering Pree Alison hails from a realm known as “Calif Or’Nia”
She’s from California, so mountain ape would be better?
That’s Pacific Ape, to you. The Mediterranean Basin is between Europe and northern Africa.
Eh, there’s been a few centuries of urban living.
LIES ALL LIES….We are actually Flat Apes.
is there some greater significance to her using that as her pull-up bar or is this one of those cases where pull-up bars were outlawed due to a combination of merchant guild shenanigans and the work of an obscure yet powerful cult, or is it both
A trick question. The merchant guild in question IS an obscure cult.
Such is life, in Throne.
“Do not affix exercise equipment in public places or causeways. Do not engage in activities obstructive to city traffic.” – Throne City Ordinance 1503:
“No metal piping structure shall be used in service of any function but the transportation of flame, fluid, and air, unless explicitly exempted by guild law or contract.” – Pipeworkers Guild By-law 390234:
“A martial artist worth his salt doesn’t settle for mere pull-up bars but only uses the remains of gods and his enemies. A real martial artist, of course, sees no distinction between the two.” – Hal Tho Mannok’s “Hardcore Guide to The Ways of Annilation and Tea”
There are surely more convenient, and less blasphemous, means of exercise, but one of the signs of ROYALTY is bowing before no one, not even the gods. And what better way is there to show one’s dominion over the divine than to get absolutely ripped exercising upon their corpses? That, I think, even Great Meti would approve of.
this is awesome, I love it
Perfect Tranquility amidst Conflict
Foolish Servant. The Successor is heir to all which that goddess created, and more. Were she alive, she would doubtless feel honored to aid the Rising King in her ascension, in whatever small way.
Oh yeah, I’m sure.
Just like she was super thrilled to help Zoss murder her servants and steal the power of the key.
Words of the wise: Yea, throweth not slurs at the crazy mofo performing one armed pullups upon the face of a dead god. For verily, they are a badass, and by their hand may deliver a swift end.
Ah, coin. Barter can ease tolerance into being like no other.
…And the skull of the garden-goddess remains peaceful, even now. May such remain so.
Buns that could C U T steel
There’s probably like a dozen other places Allison could be doing that. But I suppose defiling the relics of the gods just for the hell of it must be a necessary step in the path to True Royalty…
It worked for Zoss.
“Tunnel ape”…
Does that have any relation to the moniker “naked ape”?
Reach Heaven through pull-ups, Allison.
CAN’T be pull ups. Vectors ain’t right.
To climb the skull of YS-Bey is, it is proven, a lethal endeavor.
It was this way with her garden, which nothing of nature could survive.
Only in the unnatural could death grow like a treasured flower.
damn strange place to exercise.
Surely there are better places to exercise AL-YIS-UN
If you’re sitting off to one side in a deck chair and just watching, surely there are NO better places to exercise.
Muscile girls are awesome. GO ALLISON GET DAT BUFFNESS
“Hey, that’s insulting! I’m a crazy SAVANNAH ape!”
Reach Heaven through chinups!
But why?
Because she can.
inhale and your lungs are full
cross your feet and act the fool
as many reps as possible
Reach heaven through isometric exercise
join me at the windowsil
or forever be nintendo
(delightfully devilish)
We all know what soundtrack this scene needs to have…
She’s a BRICK
house
This one made me spit out my drink!
The chain that the the great skull of the goddess is still wearing is equally great in its density, it seems, for even the full weight of the rising king using it for pull-ups is insufficient to make it tighten!